Hapless robbers target biker meeting

On Wednesday night, two machete-wielding robbers, aged 20 and 16, attempted a heist at the Regents Park Sporting and Community Club in Sydney, Australia. Unfortunately for them, they picked the night that the tough Souther Cross Cruiser motorcycle club was having its monthly meeting. Apparently, the 50 bikers beat the hell out of them with tables, chairs, and fists.
From CNN: "These guys were absolutely dumb as bricks," Jerry Vancornewal, leader of the bikers, told CNN Thursday. "I can't believe they saw all the bikes parked up front and they were so stupid that they walked past in...."

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"Sometimes life is just comedy, isn't it?"

Scientists Predict When World Will End

Scientists have nailed down how and when the Earth will cease to exist.

The sun will slowly expand into a red giant, pushing the Earth farther out into space, but not far enough.

Our home planet will be snagged by the sun's outer atmosphere, gradually plunging to its doom inside the fiery stellar furnace.

"The drag caused by this low-density gas is enough to cause the Earth to drift inwards, and finally to be captured and vaporized by the sun," explains astronomer Robert Smith of the University of Sussex in southern England.

Previous projections had all figured that the Earth would avoid falling into the sun, even during our star's red-giant phase.

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"But on the bright side, we'll have one heck of a tan!"

Doomsday Seed Bank Opens This Week

The Arctic doomsday seed vault will open this week, according to the Press Association.

The Svalbard Global Seed Vault is the world's insurance policy on a host of threats that could destroy important crops, from global warming and war to natural disasters like drought, flood and wildfire.

The vault's initial repository will include 250,000 varieties (10 million seeds) from "virtually every country in the world," according to the Association.

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"It's kinda comforting and terrifying at the same time. Hopefully we will never use it, but at the same time if we it is necessary we have backup."

Sleep Jerk to Piss Shivers: 5 Body Mysteries Explained

The human body is one of the most incredible organisms in the known universe, but all that awesomeness carries some pretty weird and hard-to-explain baggage. We are here to help shed light on some of those body mysteries in the hopes you'll have something intelligent to say if you get stuck in an intense debate about the pee shakes or the white thing you just coughed up. Read on, get educated and help identify those unknown moments when it appears your body is rebelling against you. If you're lucky your questions will be answered here, if they aren't ... brain tumor.

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"It's not a tumour!!"

Belt buckle with integrated toolkit

Conceived of as a set of snowboard tools built into your belt, the buckle is actually two screwdrivers (Phillips and slot), a bottle opener and a hex socket wrench. It snaps off the thick, high-quality leather belt with four poppers so that you can deploy it without taking off your whole belt.

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"Looks very handy! A great idea that just might come in handy in all sorts of situations."

Take the alcohol test!

82%LUSH

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"I scored 82% see how you can do!"

The Bride Wore Very Little

THE gown was almost wanton — fluid but curvy with a neckline that plummeted dangerously. “It makes me feel sexy and beautiful,” said Natasha DaSilva, who slipped it on for a fitting last week.
Cut away at the rear to reveal a tattoo at the small of her back, the dress suggested a languorous night in the honeymoon suite.
Except that Ms. DaSilva, who will be married on Long Island in September, plans to wear it at the altar.
“Why not?” she asked. “I want to look back in 20 years and feel like I looked hot on my wedding day.”

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"It's certainly quite a difference - will we see the wedding bikini soon?"

Photoshop is Magic

Home Depot Scam

A "heads up" for you and any friends you have who may be regular Home Depot customers.

Over the last month I became a victim of a clever scam while out shopping. Simply going out to get supplies has turned out to be quite traumatic. Don't be naive enough to think it couldn't happen to you.

Here's how the scam works:

Two seriously good-looking 18 or 19-year-old girls come over to your car as you are packing your shopping in the trunk. They both start wiping your windshield with a rag and Windex, with their breasts almost falling out of their skimpy T-shirts. It is impossible not to look. When you thank them and offer them a tip, they say "No" and instead ask you for a ride to another Home Depot.

You agree and they get in the back seat. On the way, they start having sex with each other. Then one of them climbs over into the front seat and performs oral sex on you, while the other one steals your wallet.

I had my wallet stolen April 4th, 9th, 10th, twice on the 15th, three times just yesterday, and very likely again this upcoming weekend.

Again - please beware

Home Depot Scam victim

Star Wars according to a 3 year old

Homeless in NYC and living in a wooden box

The box is as long and low as a frontier coffin, and answers soundly a knock of the knuckles. It has four small wheels and a heavy chain that snakes through a hole on the side and wraps around a “No Standing” sign. Hundreds of neighbors and Little Italy tourists pass it every day, just off a strip of busy lighting stores on the Bowery at Broome Street. They pass the box with barely a glance.
One man does not pass: John Cornelius Foley, a 6-foot-2, lumbering slab of damaged Irish-American age 57 years this May. He limps slowly, his right leg below the knee as knotty and bulbed as an old root. He stops at the box, digs a key out of his jeans and stoops over, working the padlock on the chain. He pulls an end of the box open on its hinges and peers into the place he calls home.

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"A sobering story of when life isn't at its best...."

U.S. Spies Want to Find Terrorists in World of Warcraft

Be careful who you frag. Having eliminated all terrorism in the real world, the U.S. intelligence community is working to develop software that will detect violent extremists infiltrating World of Warcraft and other massive multiplayer games, according to a data-mining report from the Director of National Intelligence.

The Reynard project will begin by profiling online gaming behavior, then potentially move on to its ultimate goal of "automatically detecting suspicious behavior and actions in the virtual world."

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"You can't MAKE stuff this stupid up, it needs to be a government idea!"

Why Does Popcorn Cost So Much at the Movies?

Movie theaters are notorious for charging consumers top dollar for concession items such as popcorn, soda, and candy. Are moviegoers just being gouged?

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"Or maybe we can get a food discount on the really bad movies?"