Now, that is a pet I would love to have

Love in the times of massacre [pic]

A young couple seeks refuge under a bridge during the Tiananmen Square Massacre on June 5, 1989. Photographer: Liu Heung Shing

Pulitzer Prize-winning photojournalist Liu Heung Shing is releasing collection 88 rare photographs giving us a glimpse of day-to-day life in China under communism. China, Portrait of a Country, which will be released in the United States on August 1, 2008, captures the People's Republic from 1949 to 2008.

Queen owns a McDonald's

The Queen owns a drive-through McDonald's burger restaurant, the Royal accounts have revealed.

Among Her Majesty's most recent acquisitions was a retail park in Slough - which encompasses a drive-through McDonalds.

Bath Road Retail Park was purchased this month by the Crown Estate, which administers the monarch's property portfolio, for £92 million.

The site, which is visible from the Queen's State Apartments at Windsor Castle, is also home to a B&Q superstore, and branches of Comet, JJB Sports and Mothercare.

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"Would you like fries with that, Your Majesty?"

JCPENNEY: SPEED DRESSING

"What's your personal best?"

Australian crocs hit by cane toad 'wave of death'

Pit a cane toad against a freshwater crocodile and who wins? Although the croc eats the oversized amphibian, it seems the toad has the final laugh.

Dead freshwater crocodiles in Australia's Northern Territory were once a rare sight. But since 2005, locals have witnessed mass die-offs. Researchers now say the toxic and invasive cane toad (Bufo marinus) is to blame.

Two surveys, in 2005 and 2007, suggested that the mass croc deaths have progressively moved inland from the mouth of Victoria River, at a pace that matches that of the cane toad invasion.

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10 Out of Place Songs That Work Really Well in Movies

Sometimes songs just seem to fit a movie. For example, it’s pretty obvious that one would use the song “Singing in the Rain” in a movie where the guy is actually singing and it’s actually raining.

However, some movies play a song and you think to yourself, “Dude, what the hell is going on here?” and you just can’t fathom why the song has been used.

However, after thinking about it you realize how disturbing, yet indescribably appropriate the use of that song was.

Here are my picks (in no particular order) for the 10 most out of place songs that work really well in movies:

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"Gotta agree with choice #1 - but haven't seen any of the others!"

Colbert Explains Upside Of Gas Crisis: "What's Good For Big Oil Is Good For America"

Covering Canada

The best, worst and strangest foreign covers of Canadian songs
By Greig Dymond, CBC News

Every July 1, millions of Canadians mark the achievements of the Fathers of Confederation by consuming alcoholic beverages and cranking up the tunes. We can be justifiably proud, having always punched above our weight class when it comes to producing beer and singer-songwriters.

For decades, musicians around the world have reinterpreted English-Canadian pop-rock classics, and the results range from profoundly moving to extremely irritating. For your Canada Day listening pleasure, here’s a sampling of Canadian hits covered by artists from Britain, the U.S. and Australia.

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“Fun, Fun Fun”? Naw, “Guns, Guns, Guns.”

Beach Boys parody - Don Surber has re-written the Beach Boys’ Fun Fun Fun into a pro-second amendment anthem.

“Fun, Fun Fun”? Naw, “Guns, Guns, Guns.”

Brian Wilson is a genius. Which explains his craziness. He wrote what should be the national anthem (“California Girls”) and the best line in a rock era song (“I don’t know where, but she sends me there”).

So any excuse to do up a Beach Boys song is exploited.


I mean if the Beach Boys don’t mean freedom, then why the heck have convertibles and bikinis?

The video.

The parody:

Well DC got her gun
And said it would end the drive-by shootin’s
Seems it forgot all about that amendment
Like in the Constitution
But with gangbangers blasting
She’s running just as fast as she can now

But we’ve no guns guns guns
Now that DC can take them away
(Guns guns guns? None, ’cause DC took them away)

Well conserves can’t stand it
’cause it tramples on liberty now
(It tramples liberty, it tramples liberty)
It makes the Soviet Union look like it’s home of the free now
(It tramples liberty, it tramples liberty)
Those senators have bodyguards
And they avoid the streets after dark now
(It tramples liberty, it tramples liberty)

But we’ve no guns guns guns
now that DC can take them away
(Guns guns guns? None, ’cause DC took them away)

Well you knew all along
That the courts would eventually rule
(It couldn’t be fooled now it couldn’t be fooled)
And since it upheld Amendment 2
Libs are been thinking that their fun is all through now
(They shouldn’t have tried now they shouldn’t have tried)

But they can come along with me
cause we can go to the shooting range now
(You could practice now you could practice)

And we’ll have guns guns guns now that DC can’t take them away
(Guns guns guns now that DC can’t take them away)
And we’ll have guns guns guns now that DC can’t take them away
(Guns guns guns now that DC can’t take them away)

TRIGGER HAPPY BY WEIRD AL

"Gotta be ready if the commies attack tonight!"

Mercedes to Cut Petroleum Out of Lineup by 2015

In less than 7 years, Mercedes-Benz plans to ditch petroleum-powered vehicles from its lineup. Focusing on electric, fuel cell, and biofuels, the company is revving up research in alternative fuel sources and efficiency.

The German car company has a few new powertrains in the line-up that European journalists have had the opportunity to test out in their facility in Spain. One vehicle includes the F700, powered by a DiesOtto engine that combines HCCI and spark ignition to get nearly the same efficiency as diesel, but minus the expensive after-treatment systems. The engine can run on biofuels, and we may have a purchasable vehicle by 2010 – a year that seems to be popular for the debut of a lot of new alternative fuel car models, making ’08 and ’09 simply thumb-twiddling years for consumers. I don’t know, maybe car makers just like the roundness of “2010.” The company’s next big step will be to launch a Smart electric car which is fuel and emission-free.

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"Interesting - I'm wondering if this might be the start of the end of automotive reliance on oil, and if other automakers follow suit, what the impact will be?"

10 Best Car Chases in Movie History: Does Wanted Make the List?

Angelina Jolie and Wanted are about to hit the multiplex in top gear, with all the frenetic, adrenaline-soaked celluloid that it takes to make a gearhead action movie these days. It’s an Office Space-meets-The Matrix-slams-into-The Evil Dead tale, with nihilistic instant messaging embedded in linens. And all that breaking the laws of physics stuff aside, there’s one scene amidst the layers of blood and gibberish that could well be the first classic movie car chase of the 21st century. A Dodge Viper spinning at 75 mpg mph, Jolie clutching to it as she fires large-caliber weapons, the supercar literally driving off the side of an out-of-control bus—is this the stuff of Steve McQueen territory?

Ever since the automobile and movie businesses were born alongside each other in the 1890s, car chases have been putting the motion in motion pictures. But the last 40 years in particular—since the 1968 premiere of Bullitt, starring McQueen as a Mustang-wielding San Francisco cop—have been particularly fruitful in developing the art of on-screen motorized mayhem. Cameras have grown smaller, which means they can be mounted in places where the sense of speed is maximized. Stunt performers have grown bolder as safety advances allow them to simulate more and more dangerous antics. Physical effects have grown more sophisticated so that cars can be destroyed in ever more spectacular ways. Finally, digital imaging allows filmmakers to wipe away evidence of rigging, which has heightened the excitement even more.

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"For me, it's gotta be the Blues Brothers for its sheer absurdity!"

What if... a nuclear bomb went off in Superman's ass?

Could the Man of Steel survive a massive internal explosion? We demand an answer!

Superman can shoot beams from his eyes, fly faster than a jet and survive point-blank gunshots to the head because our sun is a different color from his sun - fine, we'll accept that. He's essentially a solar battery, constantly absorbing energy that turns him invincible, superhumanly fast and all that other stuff that makes him one of the hardest characters to write.

But, even though his skin is impenetrable, what about his innards? Would a device, properly inserted into his mouth or say, super bottom, bypass his invulnerability and destroy him, or would he shake it off like so many shitty movies?

We must know.

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"I can't even come up with any comment for this one - it's a joke just in waiting!"

13 Hottest Women Wolverine Has Slept With

In the realm of comicdom, few characters are as hardcore as Wolverine. And in comic books, just as in reality, babes are attracted to hard core bad boys…As such, Wolverine has had more than his share of comic punani. Here are the top 13 of Wolverine's known superheroine conquests.

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"See For Yourself...no comment!"

Sometimes I really miss college

Freedom (these days)

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Lego Secret Vault Contains All Sets In History

I have to confess that life hasn't been very good lately. Work around the clock, not enough free time, trying to have kids and crashing badly... all while moving to a country I don't particularly like, away from my best friends and family. Maybe that's why visiting Lego's Memory Lane—the secret vault guarding almost every Lego set ever manufactured—touched me in a way I didn't expect. This wasn't amazement or simple awe. I was already astonished to no end by the tour of the Lego factory. No, this was something else, something bigger than the impressive view of the 4,720 Lego sets inside this lair. These weren't just simple boxes full of bricks. These were tickets to ride a time portal to emotions and simpler days long forgotten.

I didn't know that when I was curiously ogling the oldest sets, from the 1950s. Jette Orduna—the curator for the Idea House, Lego's history museum set in the old family house of the owner, Kjeld Kirk Kristiansen—was explaining the first Lego sets, obviously enjoying my enthusiasm.

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"I remember some of those from way back!"

3,800-Piece Death Star Diorama Is Coolest Star Wars Lego Ever

Move over Millennium Falcon, because there's a new Best Lego Set Ever in town: the $400 Death Star. Almost 4,000 pieces of absolute nerdgasmic technological terror now available to order, showing 14 scenes that happened in the no-moon during the original trilogy. We have all the official information and three high definition photos that show every angle of this amazing set, with 21 amazing mini-figs, including Han and Luke dressed up as Lego Imperial Stormtroopers.

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"That's no moon, it's the Lego Death Star!"

Starship Troopers 3 Japanese Trailer

"I guess Casper Van Dien's gotta eat."
"At the same time - how on earth did they get funding after #2 ?!?!?!?!?!?!?!"

The Greatest Office War Ever. End of Story.

http://view.break.com/521743 - Watch more free videos

Pens *almost* guarenteed never to be stolen or 'borrowed'

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Can Dogs Smile?

Diamonds on Demand

Lab-grown gemstones are now practically indistinguishable from mined diamonds. Scientists and engineers see a world of possibilities; jewelers are less enthusiastic.

"This is a virtual diamond mine," says Apollo CEO Bryant Linares when I arrive at the company's secret location, where diamonds are made. "If we were in Africa, we'd have barbed wire, security guards and watch towers. We can't do that in Massachusetts." Apollo's directors worry about theft, corporate spies and their own safety. When Linares was at a diamond conference a few years ago, he says, a man he declines to describe slipped behind him as he was walking out of a hotel meeting room and said someone from a natural diamond company just might put a bullet in his head. "It was a scary moment," Linares recalls.

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"Diamonds are not only a girl's best friend, but everyones!"

The Movie Review: 'The Happening'

The Movie Review: 'The Happening' by Christopher Orr
This film is so bad that I feel compelled to make a spoiler-laden list of its most laughably terrible parts rather than review it.
M. Night Shyamalan's latest movie, The Happening, is not merely bad. It is an astonishment, so idiotic in conception and inept in execution that, after seeing it, one almost wonders whether it was real or imagined. It's the kind of movie you want to laugh about with friends, swapping favorite moments of inanity: "Do you remember the part when Mark Wahlberg ... ?" "God, yes. And what about that scene where the wind ... ?"
The problem, of course, is that to have such a conversation, you'd normally have to see the movie, which I believe is an unreasonably high price to pay just to make fun of it. So rather than write a conventional review explaining why you should or shouldn't see The Happening (trust me, you shouldn't), I'm offering an alternative: A dozen and a half of the most mind-bendingly ridiculous elements of the film, which will enable you to marvel at its anti-genius without sacrificing (and I don't use that term lightly) 90 minutes of your life. As this is intended to be an alternative to seeing the actual film it is, of course, overflowing with spoilers.
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"Best movie review line EVAR : "Allow me to suggest, contrarily, that if millions of Americans were killed by some tree-originated pathogen that could be released again at any time, the immediate result would not be a renewed enthusiasm for peaceful coexistence, but rather a program of deforestation so aggressive it'd make the Brazilian lumber industry look like tree huggers."

Can’t Find The G-Spot? You’re Not Alone: The Science of Sex

By: Brie Cadman

As much as I am inspired and impressed by modern medical and scientific advancements—nanotechnology, laparoscopic surgery, and genome sequencing to name a few—I’m also a bit shocked by the fact that we haven’t yet mastered some of the basics. Take human anatomy for instance. Yes, we’ve identified the twenty-six bones of the foot and the ventricles of the brain, but when it comes to deciphering the female urogenital tract, scientists are still at the drawing board. In fact, they have the same questions you might—does the G-spot exist, and if so, where the heck is it? Do women really have a prostate, and if so, can they ejaculate?

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The Beach Boys - U.S. Singles Collection: The Capitol Years (1962-1965) Review

Posted by Mitch Michaels on 06.16.2008

Kick-off the summer with this impressive 16-CD box set…

My Story
I fell head over heels for the Beach Boys around the time I was in 3rd grade. I can’t remember if it was before or after the “Kokomo” phenomenon, but it wasn’t a passing fad. I still consider their music some of the most vital in the American songbook today. There are quite a few Beach Boys collections out there, but recent years have brought some of the best, including the double platinum 2003 release Sounds Of The Summer and its companion release, 2007’s Warmth Of The Sun. The latest Beach Boys reissue is aimed towards collectors – a collection of CD reiussues of the band’s earliest singles. At 66 songs on 16 CDs, will this be Beach Boys overkill or the perfect beginning to an endless summer?

Their Story
The Beach Boys origins go back to Hawthorne, California, a suburb of Los Angeles on the Pacific Coast. It was there that the Wilson brothers – Carl, Brian and Dennis – were born. With a musically inclined father, the music bug soon bit the boys too (Brian hardest) and they spent a lot of time during their earliest years singing harmonies together, sometimes with cousin Mike Love. The foursome – along with high school friend Al Jardine – began to seriously think of getting a band together in the early 60’s, but, as Brian put it, they had to have an angle. Dennis was an avid surfer, so he suggested that the band could make a song about the sport, which was building in popularity at that time. And so, one fateful weekend while their parents were away, the boys bought instruments and wrote what would be their first single – “Surfin’”.

The Wilsons’ father Murray liked what he heard and began trying to help the guys get into the music business. “Surfin’” was released on Candix Records in 1961. The band had originally chosen the name “The Pendletones”, but when they received the first pressings of “Surfin’”, it was credited to “The Beach Boys”. A young promotional worker thought that the new name better reflected the band’s surfing tie-in. The Beach Boys moniker stuck and “Surfin’” became a surprising moderate hit throughout the nation. A deal with Capitol Records wasn’t far behind.

In early 1962, Al Jardine left the band to go to college and was replaced by David Marks. This line-up recorded the band’s debut album Surfin’ Safari, which was released in late 1962. The title track was the first Capitol single, and it managed to reach #14 on the Pop charts, thus truly launching the “surf rock” fad of the early 60’s. Surfin’ Safari became a Top 40 album and spawned another single, “Ten Little Indians”, which nearly reached the Top 40 as well.

Surfin’ USA appeared in 1963, The Beach Boys’ second LP. Another collection of similarly sunshine-themed songs, Surfin’ USA managed to make it all the way to #2 on the album charts, thanks to the title hit, which reached #3 in the US and became the band’s first Top 40 UK hit. Not long after this album broke, Al Jardine returned, initially replacing Brian Wilson for live shows but then taking over for David Marks. It was also at this time that Brian, already a chief songwriter in the band (along with Love and partner Gary Usher), began to take more control in the studio and attempt to move the Beach Boys past simple surfing songs.

Surfer Girl was released in late 1963, and the title track was another Top 10 hit (#7). DJs began playing the B-Side, a car tune called “Little Deuce Coupe”, and it reached #15. The band rushed out a THIRD album at the end of 1963, and Little Deuce Coupe spawned the hit single “Be True To Your School/In My Room”, which performed similarly. The A-side reached #6 and the B-side, the first real glimpse into Brian Wilson’s genius, hit #23. Little Deuce Coupe became a #4 hit – amazing considering it was released only one month after the Top 10 album Surfer Girl.

With three full albums released in 1963, the band didn’t take a moment to rest. 1964 would yield FOUR, the first of which was Shut Down, Vol. 2, an all-Beach Boys sequel of sorts to a Capitol Records hot-rod compilation that the band had appeared on earlier. That set is notable for the single “Fun, Fun, Fun”, which reached #5 on the charts. Shut Down was meant to solidify The Beach Boys as the biggest band in America. Unfortunately, America got a little more crowded in 1964 – “Beatlemania” and the British Invasion was in full effect. Thanks to this new sound and influx of talent, Shut Down was largely ignored, not even making the Top 10. A longstanding rumor is that Brian Wilson wanted to forget about Shut Down completely when he saw The Beatles perform on “The Ed Sullivan Show”. Instead, Wilson used this perceived competition to fuel his creativity.

All Summer Long was released in the summer of 1964. The album would feature a much more lush arrangement than previous Beach Boys albums. It would also feature session musicians playing instead of the band – who focused solely on vocals and harmonies. The album would mark the band’s first #1 single when “I Get Around” topped the charts. All Summer Long would become the band’s first gold album seven months after its release.

Beach Boys Concert, a live album, followed later that year and also went gold. It also became the band’s first #1 album, remaining on top of the charts for four weeks. Closing out 1964, the band put out The Beach Boys’ Christmas Album, which reached #4 on the charts and scored the #3 hit “The Man With All The Toys”.

Despite the British Invasion, the Beach Boys proved that American were still vital on their home soil as 1964 came to a close. With six Top 10 hits that year and three Top 10 albums, the Beach Boys had a strong hold on the moniker “America’s Band”. Unfortunately, there was a lot of pressure on the band to continue that success, particularly Brian Wilson. By the end of the year, Brian had stopped touring with the band to focus on studio work. He was replaced briefly by Glen Campbell, and then permanently by Bruce Johnston. The Beach Boys Today! was released in 1965, featuring the hit singles “When I Grow Up (To Be A Man)”, “Dance, Dance, Dance” and “Do You Wanna Dance?”. The album was another gold hit and reached #4 on the charts. It also featured some of Brian Wilson’s steps into experimentation, as its entire second side featured ballads all connected as one suite.

Summer Days (And Summer Nights!!) came out in the summer of 1965, led by the band’s second #1 single “Help Me, Rhonda”. After the experimentation of Today!, Brian Wilson stepped back to the formula on Summer Days, possibly because the other Beach Boys just weren’t “getting” what he was doing with the music. The album would go gold and reach #2, proving that, in 1965, audiences were hungry for Beach Boys music no matter what Brian was trying. “California Girls” was also released from this album, and it reached #3 on the charts. Beach Boys Party! arrived at the end of 1965, a covers album which featured acoustic instruments and a loose party atmosphere. “Barbara Ann”, a Regents cover, was released from this album and became a #2 hit in the US and a #3 hit in the UK.

As 1965 ended, both Surfin’ USA and Surfer Girl were certified gold. Around this time, the Beach Boys would release the non-album track “The Little Girl I Once Knew”. Though it only reached #20, it is now seen as a precursor to Brian Wilson’s legendary album, Pet Sounds.

In 2008, Capitol Records decided to reproduce the Beach Boys’ first 15 singles and compile them for a CD box set. The album features faithful reproductions of the original single artwork as well as extensive liner notes and bonus tracks with each single. The time period covered includes many of the band’s best-known singles, cutting off at the point their work became very experimental with “Pet Sounds”. You can check out a “virtual box set” version on the Beach Boys’ official site.

The Album
On June 10, 2008, Capital Records released U.S. Singles Collection – The Capitol Years (1962-1965), a 16-CD box set which compiles The Beach Boys’ first 15 singles for Capitol Records. Several bonus tracks are included, some previously unreleased.

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Dennis Wilson - 'Pacific Ocean Blue: Legacy Edition'

By PHIL GALLO
The first solo album from any member of the Beach Boys was "Pacific Ocean Blue" from the drummer Dennis Wilson, released in 1977. It reached No. 96 and went out of print by the time of his death in December 1983, becoming over the last decade one of those albums available only through eBay auctions. It makes its U.S. CD debut packaged with Wilson's never released "Bambu," his oft-bootlegged follow-up. Both are testimony to Wilson's compositional skills, which shine consistently, even when the patina of mid-'70s production techniques mask his artistry.

Wilson's solo deal was inked with James William Guercio, who had produced and managed Chicago, built a mammoth recording studio in the mountains of Colorado and signed the Beach Boys as clients as well. The studio, and its attendant label, were named Cairbou; Elton John named his 1974 album for the enclave. At that time, Dennis was the lone Beach Boy arguing that the band continue the development it had experienced with "20/20," "Sunflower" and "Holland"; the others opted to parlay the commercial success of "Endless Summer" into making the band tops in the oldies marketplace.

All of that history is present on "Pacific Ocean Blue" an album that has that distinct Caribou sound despite being recorded in Santa Monica, a lush and layered collection of instruments and voices, which occasionally teeter into artificiality, in addition to an element of grandeur. The grand instrumental "Common," for example, lands somewhere between "A Chorus Line" and Chicago.

Sonically, the album reveals Dennis had only tangential connections to the music of his brother Brian, although it can easily be argued that, in retrospect, "Pacific Ocean Blue" had a significant influence on Brian's solo debut recorded more than a decade later.

Dennis Wilson's music navigates variances within the realm of mid-tempo, both as a composer-performer of pop music that settles in at a meter a pinch more brisk than a ballad, and as a pianist jamming late-night on some funk or blues.

His rough and bluesy voice belies the smooth harmonies he participated in in the background during the 1960s. Wilson mostly plays keyboards and among the great musicians on the sessions were legendary Motown bassist James Jamerson, drummers Hal Blaine and Ricky Fataar and guitarist Earle Mankey, who would go on to become one of L.A. preeminent post-punk producers. Disc closes with Foo Fighters drummer Taylor Hawkins singing the words he wrote for for the Dennis Wilson-Gregg Jakobson instrumental "Holy Man."

Among the newly released material are two remarkable pieces: "I Love You" from "Bambu," a suite of themes that ventures from the bluesy to beachfront gospel to light classical piano; and "Only With You," written with Mike Love and one of three bonus tracks for the "Pacific" sessions. "I Love You," at only two minutes, feels like a half-realized sketch, one that could have been fleshed out in the spirit of the Beach Boys' ecology-minded "California Saga." "Only With You" displays greatness of the Beach Boys at their best, the fusing of the intimate and the grand, sounding like friends gathered around a piano and producing glorious music that works in the living room and the concert hall.

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Alabama 3 - Woke up This Morning

Mass Transit Effect on Pop Culture (Humour)

How high does the price of gasoline have to get before Batman resorts to the Batbus?

The influence of the car is everywhere in popular culture. But what if we had been forced to rely more on mass transit from the beginning? How might pop culture be different?

Here's some speculation.
Music

The Beach Boys would have sung I Sit Around instead of I Get Around. (I'm getting sore walking up and down the same old strip / I'll be a middle-aged guy with a titanium hip.)

Musicians have long relied on automobiles as metaphors for sex (Baby, you can drive my car). Somehow, you don't get the same level of innuendo with mass transit (Baby, you can join my car pool).

So I'm guessing that lyricists would have relied more on food to get the message across. Prince, who expressed his desires in Little Red Corvette (Baby, you're much too fast) might have tried this instead:

Little crepes suzette

Baby, you're much too hot

Raspberry vinaigrette

Your love's my food for thought

And Wilson Pickett wouldn't have sung Mustang Sally, because Ford would never have built the car.

I imagine that, in a mass-transit world, notions of vehicular sexiness would have had a more European flavor. Perhaps he would have called the song Vespa Vicky.
Television

Tony Soprano would never have lived in New Jersey.

He'd have lived in Brooklyn, and the opening montage would have shown him commuting home by subway after a hard day of whacking rivals.

Likewise, Fred Flintstone and his blue-collar buddies in Bedrock would have foot-powered a bus home.

Instead of driving the fuel-guzzling Gen. Lee (a Dodge Charger), Bo and Luke from The Dukes of Hazzard would have at least downsized to the Cpl. Cooper (a Dodge Dart).

A host of other car-oriented TV shows would have had different titles: My Mother the Streetcar, Knight Walker, Huckleberry (Grey)Hound and Pimp My Hydrogen Fuel Cell.
Movies

In a mass-transit world, Peter Fonda and Dennis Hopper could still have portrayed counterculture heroes, but the movie would have been called Easy Bus Rider.

Hapless Clark Griswold could have gotten into just as much trouble if the movie had been called National Lampoon's Stay-at-Home Vacation. And, instead of going to White Castle, Harold and Kumar might have had a pizza delivered.

I can also envision a movie in which Michael J. Fox and Christopher Lloyd employ a vehicle to transport themselves in time. But in a world less in love with cars, it might have been Amtrak to the Future.
Miscellaneous

Instead of racing 500 miles to nowhere, Dale Earnhardt Jr., Tony Stewart and company would compete to see who could hail a taxi, stuff it with five or six passengers and get to the Daytona airport first. The sport would be called NASCAB.

Come to think of it, the price of getting to the racetrack might soon exceed the cost of getting in.

In that case, we'll all stay home and play a hot new video game: Grand Theft Gasoline.

Joe Blundo is a Dispatch columnist.

jblundo@dispatch.com

Some retailers give vinyl records a spin

It was a fortuitous typo for the Fred Meyer retail chain.

This spring, an employee intending to order a special CD-DVD edition of R.E.M.'s latest release "Accelerate" inadvertently entered the "LP" code instead. Soon boxes of vinyl discs showed up at several stores.

Some sent them back. But a handful put them on the shelves, and 20 LPs sold the first day.

The Portland-based company, owned by the Kroger Co., realized the error might not be so bad after all. Fred Meyer is now testing vinyl sales at 60 of its stores in Oregon, Washington and Alaska. The company says it plans to roll out vinyl in July in all its stores that sell music.

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"Who'd have thunk that vinyl is actually making a small comeback?!?"

Tough parenting in the hood

Best Father's Day Ad. Ever.

Punisher: War Zone -- Teaser Trailer

Awesome Compilation Of Racing Crashes

World Religion Map

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"It's amazing how they all get along, right? (note heavy sarcasm) "

The New American $5 Dollar Bill

"I still remember when gas was expensive at 59 cents a litre!!"

5 Marvel Super Hero Movies We Want to See (and 5 We Don't)

Must be a nice time to work at Marvel Studios, wouldn't you say, True Believers? I mean, sure, you might have to occasionally talk your boss out of doing something stupid like not bringing Jon Favreau back for Iron Man 2 or keeping Edward Norton from Hulking out in the lobby after he realizes that you cut out the "Bruce Banner sings karaoke with his rabbi best friend" scene in The Incredible Hulk - someone has to give the Marvel boy some perspective. But, all in all, Marvel has had a nice recent lucky streak when it comes to turning their roster of super heroes into summer-movie tentpoles. Forgetting Iron Man and the Hulk (a certified hit and a new release with halfway decent tracking numbers), Marvel's made a mint off of the Spider-Man and X-Men franchises, and they've more than broken even with some of their lesser releases (Ghost Rider, the Fantastic Four movies, Blade, etc). In other words, unless the Hulk tanks hardcore and the cast of the Avengers is arrested for treason, expect lots and lots of Marvel super hero-based films to hit your local movie theatre in the very near future.

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"Ye gods, excelsior indeed!"

If Things Turned Out Differently

"What if all the hype was true?"

The only truth about politics and elections

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Transporter 3 Teaser Trailer

Plus d'infos sur ce film

The 10 Most Terrifying Guides to Sex

We're not saying sex is something to be ashamed of, and far be it from us to declare any activity between consenting adults to be unnatural or immoral. It's just that some types of sex are weird and yes, even terrifying to us.

But, if you're going to do something that would make a dominatrix flinch, you might as well do it right.

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"So, whips and chains are passe now, eh?"

When every song ever recorded fits on your MP3 player, will you listen to any of them?

There was a time when I knew what I wanted to listen to. I was poor, but I bought CDs anyway, and I had stacks of them, purchased with enthusiasm and knowledge shared among friends. A pricey endeavor, sure. But once I discovered Napster and CD-burning, finances stopped counting. I started storing my music on my computer, and saving songs was no longer a physical, deliberate effort; a mouse-click sufficed.
And I kept on clicking. I'm now closing in on 95 gigabytes of music — just over 22,000 songs. Much of it I've never listened to, but there's no logic when passion gets in the way. You might say I have too much music at my fingertips.
Google vice president Sukhinder Singh Cassidy predicts that in seven years, every song ever recorded in the world will fit into our pockets.

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"I wondered about this too.. have people stopped listening to the music just to collect it?"

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Hollywood to remake 1986 "Highlander."

Summit Entertainment is bringing back to the big screen the 1986 sci-fi cult hit "Highlander," with "Iron Man" co-writers Art Marcum and Matt Holloway on board to write the script.

The original "Highlander" starred Christopher Lambert, Sean Connery and Clancy Brown as immortal beings battling humans, hunting down one another and collecting more power. Lambert played Scottish swordsman Connor MacLeod, Connery portrayed an Egyptian and Clancy was a barbarian known as the Kurgan. The film -- with its "There can be only one" catch phrase -- spawned four sequels and three television series.

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" There can be only two."

Would You Pick Up This Hitchhiker?

"

A Bucket of Popcorn and Some Anti-Spam Goggles Please

When you think of spam, unless you’re hungry, you’re thinking of unwanted, unsolicited, unbelievably annoying advertisements showing up in your email account. The main reason why they’re spam and not just “ads” is that you don’t expect the ads to show up, or rather, you feel they definitely don’t belong there. When you watch television or surf the net you know when and where ads are “supposed” to pop up, and as much as you may TiVo the commercials and ad-block the web, there’s no protection from the barrage of ads invading our brains at a rate of 3000 per day. To maintain our sanity, we like our ads in controlled environments, impossible when every surface, from restroom walls to subway floors, is jammed with visual spam.

And now, drum roll please, the reigning champion for decades and the ultimate surface for unwanted, unsolicited and unbelievable annoying ads, ladies and gentlemen, coming in at 30 by 70 feet and in digital surround sound, we give you: the silver screen!

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"Holy product placement, Batman!"

RIP, Robert Asprin

RIP, Robert Asprin, science fiction writer and anthologist.
On May 22, 2008, Bob passed away quietly in his home in New Orleans, LA. He had been in good spirits and working on several new projects, and was set to be the Guest of Honor at a major science fiction convention that very weekend. He is survived by his mother, his sister, his daughter and his son, and his cat, Princess, not to mention countless friends and fans and numerous legendary fictional characters. He will be greatly missed.

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"Aahz & Skeeve, Captain Phule, and all the others, we hardly knew you - Asprin will be missed."

Review: 'Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull'

CANNES, FRANCE -- It's the summer's most anticipated film, the latest in a beloved series that's earned $1.2 billion in worldwide ticket sales. Add in a premiere at the most prestigious of international film festivals, and the wonder of "Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull" is that it avoids being an anticlimax and is entertaining in its own right.

Though the film stars a relaxed and capable Harrison Ford as everyone's favorite intrepid archaeologist and boasts supporting players ranging from Cate Blanchett as a superb villainess to Shia LaBeouf as the inevitable youngster, the real heroes of this film are director Steven Spielberg and the veritable army of superb technicians who turn the film's numerous stunts and special effects into trains that insist on running on time.

Trains are in fact not a bad metaphor for the director's motivations for this fourth Indy effort, the first in 19 years. Just like a model-train hobbyist who enjoys getting more and more expensive equipment as his income level rises, Spielberg clearly got enormous pleasure employing a lifetime's worth of skill and turning out wave after wave of smartly done stunts and effects set pieces.

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"Yup, looking forward to this one!"

'Indiana Jones' and the Rip-offs of Doom

When he debuted in 1981, Indiana Jones was never meant to be a wholly original character. He was a throwback, an homage to the cliffhanger heroes of yesteryear. His appearance and personality owed a debt to everyone from Humphrey Bogart to James Bond. But somehow, from out of those purposely unoriginal seeds, formed something that was unique. And when Hollywood finds something unique -- espeically when it does the kind of business Indiana Jones did -- it gets copied and cloned and ripped off in every way imaginable.
To see just how influential Indiana Jones became, take a look at these pretenders to the bullwhip.

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"There is only ONE Indy - 'nuff said."

Deep Cuts: The Beach Boys

Memorial Day is just around the corner, and that of course means the unofficial start of summer. And what would a summer be without the music of the Beach Boys? It would be crap, that’s what. Everyone knows the biggest hits (and there were a ton of them), but there’s a lot of great material that has gone unnoticed by all but the biggest fans. So here’s ten overlooked classics by the boys from Hawthorne, CA.

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"Interesting choices - a vast difference from the standard 'California Girls' and 'I Get Around'."

Brian Wilson returns to Capitol Records

HOLLYWOOD, Calif. -- He is one of popular music's most deeply revered figures, a legendary writer, producer, arranger and performer of some of the most cherished music in rock history. Indeed, it is no exaggeration to call Brian Wilson one of the most gifted and influential pop composers of the last 50 years.

Wilson announces his return to Capitol Records / EMI, his original label home. Wilson's new studio recording, That Lucky Old Sun, will be released by Capitol/EMI on CD, CD/DVD, limited edition vinyl and digitally.

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"Woo-hoo - Surf's Up!"

Before Burger King went creepy, there was this. Quite possibly the greatest commercial ever made

"Man alive! Rwally you don't see commercials like this anymore..."

18 Things A Grown Man Should Never Have

1. A black eye. Unless the rim hits your face mid-dunk, your peepers should remain unblemished. You're smart enough to talk your way out of any fight you're going to lose.

2. A witty e-mail signature. Quotes and song lyrics should be heard during toasts and karaoke performances, respectively. Don't let your electronic correspondence become the digital version of a motivational poster.

3. An empty refrigerator. Your larder should be amply stocked, your pantry provisioned. Always aim to be ready to create an on-the-fly, three-course dinner for her...along with breakfast in bed.

4. PlayStation thumb. When they're relaxing, grown men can behave like children. But if you devolve long enough to cause calluses or button-shaped bruises, you're assuredly missing out on life.

5. A key chain with a bottle opener. This bauble is both a gauche reminder of your college days and proof that you don't know how to apply leverage using available, impromptu bottle openers: a lighter, the back end of a fork.

6. A lucky shirt. Every shirt is lucky when worn by a man who knows that the harder he works the luckier he'll be.

7. An unstamped passport.

8. Olympic dreams. Exceptions: curling and archery.

9. Less than $20 in his wallet. Fiduciary nudity is negligence. A real man should always carry a business card and enough dough to pick up coffee, bagels, and the Sunday paper without whipping out the plastic.

10. A name for his penis. Even if it's a really clever name.

11. Any beer that costs less than $20 a case. And no exception for the grand-slam 30-pack that crosses that price threshold.

12. The need to quote The Big Lebowski/ Caddyshack/Superbad. Reciting someone else's lines reminds people that you haven't the wit to write your own.

13. A futon. Sure, beds are for sleeping. But such a meager, slouchy spread has never, in the history of sex, inspired a woman to say, "Take me on your futon."

14. Code words for ugly women. Actually, code words for anything.

15. A Nerf hoop in his living room. Keep the adolescent accoutrements where they belong: in the rec room or above the wastebasket in someone else's office.

16. A secret handshake.

17. Drinking glasses with logos. Especially those kitschy McDonald's Hamburglar ones.

18. A recent story with the phrase "So I said to the cop…"

An ex-Jack Sparrow spills on life at the Magic Kingdom

Like everyone, I grew up going to Disneyland. Even as an adult I loved it there and went at least once a month. I was an annual pass holder, though not like the freaky ones you may have heard of. I’d see the park’s characters and think, “It’d be so cool to work here.”
But there was never a character I really wanted to play. I had a role on the television show Veronica Mars and was working at Coco’s when a friend told me Disneyland was casting a Jack Sparrow character. I had already played Jack as a hobby at San Diego’s Comic-Con and the Renaissance Faire.
Thirty-seven actors showed up that day, four of us in costume. Only eight were chosen for the next round. We were told we would be auditioning the next day at Disneyland. They told us we were going to be Disneyland’s first Jack Sparrows.
Disney warned us we were going to have a lot of horny women coming on to us. They were also worried about girls. I heard Disneyland had an Esmeralda from The Hunchback of Notre Dame. She was very flirtatious, and they finally pulled her because men found her too sexually arousing and were acting out.

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"Yo-Ho-Ho and bottle of rum!"

Six Degrees of Paris Hilton: The Global Reach of One Vagina

They say we're no more than six degrees of separation from everyone in the world. So, for instance, you don't know Harrison Ford, but you know a guy, who knows a guy, who knows a guy who knows Harrison Ford.

What you probably haven't heard is that you most likely are no more than six degrees of sex from Paris Hilton's vagina. Pick any random person, and if you dig hard enough you'll find that they had sex with somebody, who had sex with somebody, who had sex with Paris.

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"So this would be SEX degrees of seperation?"

One VERY tasteless chess set...

"Knight takes Bishop - Boom!"

Online game: balance the US budget

American Public Media recently launched Budget Hero—an interactive game that lets people explore the major issues of the election by changing the federal budget to match their stands on issues and their values

Budget Hero tries to bring a level of clarity and simplicity to the federal budget. It is bound to be controversial since the game puts numbers against issues like bringing home troops from Iraq soon or gradually or not at all and providing options on taxes, Social Security and Medicare. American Public Media worked closely with the Congressional Budget Office, GAO and others on the data and devoted months of reporter and researcher time to creating the game.

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"Can't f*** it up any worse than Bush and Congress have already done...."

5 Million-Piece LEGO Boulder Chases Indy, Crashes Into Car

Ah LEGO, how much do we love you? Let me count the ways: five million. The same amount of million multicolored pieces needed to create this solid boulder, as big as the one in Raiders of the Lost Ark. Then get a fake Professor Henry Jones (You call this archaeology?), fake Sallah (Asps. Very dangerous. You go first) and some other dudes to push it to chase a fake Indy down the streets of San Francisco. The result: an instant classic, even without the Hovitos. Let's hope the actual movie is this crazy and preposterous.

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"Bwhahahahaha- I Love it!"

An epidemic of extinctions: Decimation of life on earth

The world's species are declining at a rate "unprecedented since the extinction of the dinosaurs", a census of the animal kingdom has revealed. The Living Planet Index out today shows the devastating impact of humanity as biodiversity has plummeted by almost a third in the 35 years to 2005.

The report, produced by WWF, the Zoological Society of London (ZSL) and the Global Footprint Network, says land species have declined by 25 per cent, marine life by 28 per cent, and freshwater species by 29 per cent.

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"This isn't something renewable - once something is extinct - there's no coming back. Or have you tasted carrier pigeon or dodo or mammoth lately?"

Red Dwarf Toaster Sketch

The BEST toaster sketch ever!



"Ah, you're a waffle man!"

Fan-smegging-Tastic

every smeg in red dwarf smegging history




"SMEG!"

How to Destroy 4,703 Brand-New Cars

It all started about two years ago, when a ship carrying 4,703 shiny new Mazdas nearly sank in the Pacific. The freighter, the Cougar Ace, spent weeks bobbing on the high seas, listing at a severe 60-degree angle, before finally being righted. The mishap created a dilemma: What to do with the cars? They had remained safely strapped down throughout the ordeal -- but no one knew for sure what damage, if any, might be caused by dangling cars at such a steep angle for so long. Might corrosive fluids seep into chambers where they don't belong?

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"I'm thinking - world largest demolition derby!"