8.23.2008
8.22.2008
8.19.2008
7 Reasons Why It Sucks To Be a Male Porn Star
By a Male Porn Star
Hello, I’m a male porn star and it sucks! Now, I know what you might be thinking: “F**k you a**hole – you have a big dick and you get paid to get laid.” True, but being a “pro” isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be. I’ve been “in the biz” for almost two years now and my experiences, while sexy and fun at times, for the most part have been awful. Below I’ve listed my Top 7 Reasons why being a male porn star sucks but let me say first that, yes, the overall ”kink” of what I do is pretty hot but the nuts ‘n bolts, day-to-day hassles of the porn business can really wear a guy down. (And “being down” can cost you money in this business, trust me – see Reason #2). So why do I do it? The money is okay, but not great, and then there’s the sex. But mostly I do it because I can – not everyone can “perform” with the lights on, and camera crews, and an insistent director yelling “f**k her harder!” And honestly, it beats working at Dunkin’ Donuts (which is what I used to do). Sooner or later I’m going to move on to more “legit” lines of work. But, for now, I guess I’ll struggle through even though it sucks. Here’s why:
Link
8.18.2008
8.16.2008
The 50 best jokes from the Edinburgh Fringe
Compiled by John Elmes
"I told the ambulance men the wrong blood type for my ex, so he knows what rejection feels like" – Pippa Evans
"The Olympics are for everyone, not just someone who happens to own a dancing horse" – Glenn Wool, on dressage
"I like Jesus, but he loves me, so it's awkward" – Tom Stade
"I love being touched sexually by an ecologist" – Jo Neary, in character as a dolphin
"Glasgow has its own version of Monopoly – just one big square that reads: Go To Jail" – Des Clarke
"A problem shared is attention gained" – Pippa Evans
"Never say to an autistic person, you do the maths" – Wilson Dixon
"I'm glad they invented emoticons, otherwise I wouldn't know what my dad was thinking" – Kerry Godliman
On having sex with men in their thirties: "Generally much better, but you've got to rub their legs afterwards for cramp" – Sarah Millican
"I love paying tax so much, the sight of a gritter lorry gives me an erection" – Jon Richardson
"No seriously, I am a feminist, just a lusty, ogling feminist. I'm a lesbian, in fact" – Rob Deering
"Looking at my face is like reading in the car. It's all right for 10 minutes, then you start to feel sick" – Andrew Lawrence, on his ginger appearance
"One-armed butlers, they can take it but they can't dish it out" – Tim Vine
"If it's gone abroad, it must be fraud" – Tom Wrigglesworth, on the mindset of the high-street banks
"Victoria Beckham? Does this tampon make me look fat?" – Joan Rivers, on celebrities
"What do you say to your adopted African child if you want them to eat up their dinner? 'There are people starving in Africa right now, like your parents'" – Tom Stade
"Politicians are like God. No one believes in them, they haven't done anything for ages, and they give jobs to their immediate family" – Andy Zaltzman
"Channel 4 just cuts out bits from 'heat' magazine and throws them on the floor" – Wendy Wason, on C4 scheduling
"I'm dating now, because I ran out of hooker money" – Rick Shapiro
"The Scots invented hypnosis, chloroform and the hypodermic syringe. Wouldn't it just be easier to talk to a woman?" – Stephen Brown
"Whenever I see a man with a beard, moustache and glasses, I think, 'There's a man who has taken every precaution to avoid people doodling on photographs of him" – Carey Marx
"I love making love on a bed of nails, but can I go on top?" – Ginger and Black
"The definition of bipolar? A sexually curious bear" – Marcus Birdman
"One of my friends had twins with IVF. Two old ladies that she knew came up to her, and one got the term wrong. In a very sweet voice, she said, 'Oh, would you look at those beautiful twins! Did you get those on the HIV?'" – Craig Hill
"Old people don't like swearing, because a lot of the words weren't invented in their day, so they feel left out" – Zoe Gardner
"The anti-aging advert that I would like to see is a baby covered in cream saying, 'Aah, I've used too much'" – Andrew Bird
"I don't hate the Germans, I just miss my grandparents" – Ian Stone
"'What's a couple?' I asked my mum. She said, 'Two or three'. Which probably explains why her marriage collapsed" – Josie Long
"My friend said she was giving up drinking from Monday to Friday. I'm just worried she's going to dehydrate" – Kerri Godliman
"Ken Dodd is one of my favourite comics, and one of the richest in showbusiness – he has Swiss money in Irish banks" – Roy Walker
"I wonder what would happen if Franz Ferdinand were assassinated?" – Glenn Wool
"My uncle Cleetus is illiterate and ambidextrous. Which is a double tragedy. He is unable to write, with both hands" – Wilson Dixon
"I like David Beckham. Most of us have skeletons in our closet. But he takes his out in public" – Andrew Lawrence
"If Britons were left to tax themselves, there would be no schools, no hospitals, just a 500-mile-high statue of Diana, Princess of Wales" – Andy Zaltzman
"Surgery is just stabbing in a courteous environment" – A L Kennedy
"I know someone whose dream is to be an actor but they're not that good – they got mugged, and had to audition for the part of themselves on 'Crimewatch'. They got Passer-by No 2" – Isy Suttie
"My boyfriend likes role play. He likes to pretend we're married. He waits until I go to bed, then he looks at porn and has a wank" – Joanna Neary
"I was talking to my friend from New York yesterday, and I used the expression, 'You can't polish a turd'. He looked at me, disgusted, and said, 'No, you can't, but you can roll it in glitter'. He's a lovely guy but I wouldn't want to go to a craft fair with him" – Steve Williams
"My Nan had a plastic hip put in, but I thought she should have replaced it with a Slinky, 'cause if she fell down the stairs again..." – Steve Williams
"A headline last year, after the death of Saddam Hussein, read: 'Tyrant is hanged'. My auntie looked at the newspaper and sobbed, 'Who's going to present "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?"' " – Steve Williams
"I used to go out with Christopher Reeve, but I just had to keep standing him up" – Steve Hall
"I despise cliquishness, for reasons only my four closest friends will ever properly understand" – Steve Hall
"Where I'm from, people aren't quick. A girl once asked her mum, 'Can I have a Cadbury's Creme Egg?' The mum said, 'No, you can't Danielle, I've already told you, darling – bird flu!'" – Tom Deacon
"I once buggered a man unconscious. I'm lying, he was already unconscious when I found him" – Tom Deacon
"I never know the right thing to say, especially during sex. After my first time, I said to the girl, 'That's it, I'm afraid'" – Tom Deacon
"I'm the eldest of five children. My parents aren't Catholic, just reckless" – Danielle Ward
"I was in Halifax one Friday night in July, and I thought they were having an 'idiots and whores' theme party, but no – that's just Halifax on a Friday night" – Rob Deering
"I do love Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen. He always looks so... clean. But if you went out dressed like that round our way, you'd get the MDF kicked out of you" – Domestic Goddi Rosie Wilkinson & Helen O'Brien
"I've got nothing against disabled people, I've even got one of their stickers on my car" – Damian Callinan
"My granny was recently beaten to death by my granddad. Not as in, with a stick – he just died first" – Alex Horne
"I told the ambulance men the wrong blood type for my ex, so he knows what rejection feels like" – Pippa Evans
"The Olympics are for everyone, not just someone who happens to own a dancing horse" – Glenn Wool, on dressage
"I like Jesus, but he loves me, so it's awkward" – Tom Stade
"I love being touched sexually by an ecologist" – Jo Neary, in character as a dolphin
"Glasgow has its own version of Monopoly – just one big square that reads: Go To Jail" – Des Clarke
"A problem shared is attention gained" – Pippa Evans
"Never say to an autistic person, you do the maths" – Wilson Dixon
"I'm glad they invented emoticons, otherwise I wouldn't know what my dad was thinking" – Kerry Godliman
On having sex with men in their thirties: "Generally much better, but you've got to rub their legs afterwards for cramp" – Sarah Millican
"I love paying tax so much, the sight of a gritter lorry gives me an erection" – Jon Richardson
"No seriously, I am a feminist, just a lusty, ogling feminist. I'm a lesbian, in fact" – Rob Deering
"Looking at my face is like reading in the car. It's all right for 10 minutes, then you start to feel sick" – Andrew Lawrence, on his ginger appearance
"One-armed butlers, they can take it but they can't dish it out" – Tim Vine
"If it's gone abroad, it must be fraud" – Tom Wrigglesworth, on the mindset of the high-street banks
"Victoria Beckham? Does this tampon make me look fat?" – Joan Rivers, on celebrities
"What do you say to your adopted African child if you want them to eat up their dinner? 'There are people starving in Africa right now, like your parents'" – Tom Stade
"Politicians are like God. No one believes in them, they haven't done anything for ages, and they give jobs to their immediate family" – Andy Zaltzman
"Channel 4 just cuts out bits from 'heat' magazine and throws them on the floor" – Wendy Wason, on C4 scheduling
"I'm dating now, because I ran out of hooker money" – Rick Shapiro
"The Scots invented hypnosis, chloroform and the hypodermic syringe. Wouldn't it just be easier to talk to a woman?" – Stephen Brown
"Whenever I see a man with a beard, moustache and glasses, I think, 'There's a man who has taken every precaution to avoid people doodling on photographs of him" – Carey Marx
"I love making love on a bed of nails, but can I go on top?" – Ginger and Black
"The definition of bipolar? A sexually curious bear" – Marcus Birdman
"One of my friends had twins with IVF. Two old ladies that she knew came up to her, and one got the term wrong. In a very sweet voice, she said, 'Oh, would you look at those beautiful twins! Did you get those on the HIV?'" – Craig Hill
"Old people don't like swearing, because a lot of the words weren't invented in their day, so they feel left out" – Zoe Gardner
"The anti-aging advert that I would like to see is a baby covered in cream saying, 'Aah, I've used too much'" – Andrew Bird
"I don't hate the Germans, I just miss my grandparents" – Ian Stone
"'What's a couple?' I asked my mum. She said, 'Two or three'. Which probably explains why her marriage collapsed" – Josie Long
"My friend said she was giving up drinking from Monday to Friday. I'm just worried she's going to dehydrate" – Kerri Godliman
"Ken Dodd is one of my favourite comics, and one of the richest in showbusiness – he has Swiss money in Irish banks" – Roy Walker
"I wonder what would happen if Franz Ferdinand were assassinated?" – Glenn Wool
"My uncle Cleetus is illiterate and ambidextrous. Which is a double tragedy. He is unable to write, with both hands" – Wilson Dixon
"I like David Beckham. Most of us have skeletons in our closet. But he takes his out in public" – Andrew Lawrence
"If Britons were left to tax themselves, there would be no schools, no hospitals, just a 500-mile-high statue of Diana, Princess of Wales" – Andy Zaltzman
"Surgery is just stabbing in a courteous environment" – A L Kennedy
"I know someone whose dream is to be an actor but they're not that good – they got mugged, and had to audition for the part of themselves on 'Crimewatch'. They got Passer-by No 2" – Isy Suttie
"My boyfriend likes role play. He likes to pretend we're married. He waits until I go to bed, then he looks at porn and has a wank" – Joanna Neary
"I was talking to my friend from New York yesterday, and I used the expression, 'You can't polish a turd'. He looked at me, disgusted, and said, 'No, you can't, but you can roll it in glitter'. He's a lovely guy but I wouldn't want to go to a craft fair with him" – Steve Williams
"My Nan had a plastic hip put in, but I thought she should have replaced it with a Slinky, 'cause if she fell down the stairs again..." – Steve Williams
"A headline last year, after the death of Saddam Hussein, read: 'Tyrant is hanged'. My auntie looked at the newspaper and sobbed, 'Who's going to present "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?"' " – Steve Williams
"I used to go out with Christopher Reeve, but I just had to keep standing him up" – Steve Hall
"I despise cliquishness, for reasons only my four closest friends will ever properly understand" – Steve Hall
"Where I'm from, people aren't quick. A girl once asked her mum, 'Can I have a Cadbury's Creme Egg?' The mum said, 'No, you can't Danielle, I've already told you, darling – bird flu!'" – Tom Deacon
"I once buggered a man unconscious. I'm lying, he was already unconscious when I found him" – Tom Deacon
"I never know the right thing to say, especially during sex. After my first time, I said to the girl, 'That's it, I'm afraid'" – Tom Deacon
"I'm the eldest of five children. My parents aren't Catholic, just reckless" – Danielle Ward
"I was in Halifax one Friday night in July, and I thought they were having an 'idiots and whores' theme party, but no – that's just Halifax on a Friday night" – Rob Deering
"I do love Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen. He always looks so... clean. But if you went out dressed like that round our way, you'd get the MDF kicked out of you" – Domestic Goddi Rosie Wilkinson & Helen O'Brien
"I've got nothing against disabled people, I've even got one of their stickers on my car" – Damian Callinan
"My granny was recently beaten to death by my granddad. Not as in, with a stick – he just died first" – Alex Horne
8.08.2008
The Catholic Perversion of the Christian Faith
Or the many things we have Catholicism to thank for.
• CE 300: “Baptism” by immersion changed to affusion (sprinkling).
• CE 300: Prayers for the dead. (Against Deut. 18:11 & Is. 8:19).
• CE 325 Anathema (death) decreed to anyone who adds or changes the creed of faith of Nice (see years 1545 & 1560)
• CE 375: Veneration of angles and dead saints
• CE 431: the worship of Mary.
• CE 431 Mary “Queen of Heaven” (against Is. 7:17, 44:17, 44:25
• CE 593: Doctrine of “purgatory” –by Gregory (against John 5:24, 1 John 1:7-9, 2:1,2, Rom. 8:1)
• CE 600: Latin language only language permitted for prayer (against 1 Cor. 14:9)
• CE 709: Kissing the feet of the pope is ordered (against Acts 10:25,26 Rev. 19:10, 22:8,9)
• CE 850: Fabrication and use of “holy water.”
• CE 995: Canonization of dead saints (against Rom. 1:7, 1 Cor. 10:25, 1 Tim. 4:1-8).
• CE:998: Fasting on “Fri-days” & during “Lent.” (Against Mt. 15:11, 1 Cor., 10:25, 1 Tim 4:1-8).
• CE 1079: Celibacy of priesthood declared.
• CE 1190: Sale of Indulgences (against Eph. 2:8-10)
• CE 1215: Confession of sins to priest ordered. (Against Ps. 51:1-10, Luke 7:48, & 15:21, 1 John 1:8,9)
• CE 1229: Scripture forbidden to “laymen.” (against John 5:39, 8:31, 2 Tim. 3:15-17).
• CE 1545: Church tradition equal to Scripture. (Against Mt. 15:6, Mk. 7:7-13, Col. 2:8)
• CE 1854: Immaculate Conception of Virgin Mary. (Against, Rom. 3:23 & 5:12, Ps. 51:5, Is. 19:9)
• Papal infallibility decreed. (Against 2 Thess. 2:2-12, Rev. 17:1-9, 13:5-8, 18)
• CE 1950: The dogma of “trans-substantiation.”
For more information, see Fossilized Customs, by Lew White.
Link
• CE 300: “Baptism” by immersion changed to affusion (sprinkling).
• CE 300: Prayers for the dead. (Against Deut. 18:11 & Is. 8:19).
• CE 325 Anathema (death) decreed to anyone who adds or changes the creed of faith of Nice (see years 1545 & 1560)
• CE 375: Veneration of angles and dead saints
• CE 431: the worship of Mary.
• CE 431 Mary “Queen of Heaven” (against Is. 7:17, 44:17, 44:25
• CE 593: Doctrine of “purgatory” –by Gregory (against John 5:24, 1 John 1:7-9, 2:1,2, Rom. 8:1)
• CE 600: Latin language only language permitted for prayer (against 1 Cor. 14:9)
• CE 709: Kissing the feet of the pope is ordered (against Acts 10:25,26 Rev. 19:10, 22:8,9)
• CE 850: Fabrication and use of “holy water.”
• CE 995: Canonization of dead saints (against Rom. 1:7, 1 Cor. 10:25, 1 Tim. 4:1-8).
• CE:998: Fasting on “Fri-days” & during “Lent.” (Against Mt. 15:11, 1 Cor., 10:25, 1 Tim 4:1-8).
• CE 1079: Celibacy of priesthood declared.
• CE 1190: Sale of Indulgences (against Eph. 2:8-10)
• CE 1215: Confession of sins to priest ordered. (Against Ps. 51:1-10, Luke 7:48, & 15:21, 1 John 1:8,9)
• CE 1229: Scripture forbidden to “laymen.” (against John 5:39, 8:31, 2 Tim. 3:15-17).
• CE 1545: Church tradition equal to Scripture. (Against Mt. 15:6, Mk. 7:7-13, Col. 2:8)
• CE 1854: Immaculate Conception of Virgin Mary. (Against, Rom. 3:23 & 5:12, Ps. 51:5, Is. 19:9)
• Papal infallibility decreed. (Against 2 Thess. 2:2-12, Rev. 17:1-9, 13:5-8, 18)
• CE 1950: The dogma of “trans-substantiation.”
For more information, see Fossilized Customs, by Lew White.
Link
8.04.2008
Opinion: Can Google be bested? Not anytime soon
By Don Reisinger | Published: August 03, 2008 - 09:01PM CT
Google may be the de facto leader in search today, but will its lead last forever? With services like Mahalo and Cuil gaining attention and Microsoft willing to pour continued billions into its quest for online dominance, Google's rivals are legion, and they're hungry, but that doesn't mean the Big G needs to elevate its corporate blood pressure; Google's dominance is assured far into the future.
According to comScore's latest figures, Google commanded 61.5 percent of the US search market, while Yahoo owned 20.9 percent and Microsoft trailed with 9.2 percent. Both Ask.com and AOL follow far behind the big three. And where are the hot startups? Smaller search engines like Mahalo, Powerset, and Quintura didn't even make the list.
Making room
A search engine can be an extremely lucrative endeavor when it's popular. But with Google, Yahoo, and Microsoft commanding more than 90 percent of the market, is it even possible anymore for a small company to be anything more than the nichest of niche players?
Link
"When the term 'google-it' is a common phrase, it's hard for others to even enter the search engine market."
Chinese restaurant takes the cake for naming error
The internet has been filled with hilarious mistranslations of sign names, restaurant menus and street signs for many years - but at LIVENEWS.com.au we don't think we have seen one quite as outstanding as this.
Off The Wall says: We're not sure what kind of dishes they serve up at "Translate Server Error" - but we have no doubt it would be a smorgasboard of "404 page not found" fried rice, and "A problem has been detected and windows has been shut down to prevent damage to your computer" with Honey Soy Chicken.
Link
"I'll take the '404 Chicken Chow Mein" & the 'Blue Screen of Death Spring Rolls' , please!
7.20.2008
26 Important Comic Books
Sure, it may seem silly, but, comic books mean something. Soldiers used dog-eared copies of Captain America to keep their spirits up in WWII. The Green Lantern and Green Arrow made kids actually think about issues like racism and heroin. And millions gasped when they heard the news that Superman died. In fact, the vibrant medium is so often pegged as children’s pulp, or fun for the feeble-minded, that people tend to forget that comics have actually grown with and continued to reflect the spirit of our times.
Link
"There's a definetely more than a few I'd like to check out!"
Last year I killed a man
At 9.45am on Saturday, June 23 2007, I killed a man. A perfectly ordinary man, on a perfectly ordinary summer's day. CCTV pictures show him entering the station, unremarkable among all the passengers going to the West End. He waited at the front of the platform until he could hear my train approaching, then he calmly stepped down on to the tracks and looked directly at me as he waited for the impact.
Link
"A very sobering read - but excellent nonetheless."
7.15.2008
I Am So Starving VS. I am So Starving
I Am So Starving
By Brittany Birnbaum
Oh, my God, I am so starving. I swear, if I don't get something to eat in like two minutes, I am going to die.
I cannot believe how completely famished I am. Why do we have to wait for Tyler to get home from soccer practice? I want to eat now. It's almost 6:15.
I didn't even get to eat lunch today. Erica and I had to sign up for kickline tryouts at noon. We got to the cafeteria way late, and we weren't about to stand in line with the sophomores. All I had was a Twix and half a bag of Fritos. Plus, the stupid machine was out of Diet Coke.
No, I did not still have those carrot sticks left at lunch. I ate them all after second period. Duh.
Did you hear that? I can totally hear my stomach making these weird growling noises. I think I'm going to faint.
Please, please, please let me eat now so I can go up to my room--I have a ton of people to call tonight. It's so lame how you make us all wait to eat dinner together. Erica always gets to eat by herself in the living room with the TV on.
If we're going to wait this long for Tyler, he has to load the dishwasher. I did it last night, and it was totally nasty because you made that lasagna, and I had to scrape all the gunky cheese off the pan.
I am so totally starving. You know, it's against the law to treat your kids like this. You could get thrown in jail by the social-services people for this kind of abuse.
Oh my God, what are you taking out of the oven? Is that, like, salisbury steak? I could seriously puke just looking at that. You actually expect me to eat that? Yeah, right. Like I'm really gonna put that in my mouth. I'll be in my room if I get any phone calls.
Ugh. I swear, I could just die.
Counterpoint
I Am So Starving
By Kitum Asosa
My God, I am starving. If I do not find something to eat soon, I will surely die.
Hunger consumes my life. My young body is hunched and weak, as if I were an old man. Some days, I pass the time by counting my bones.
I would walk 100 miles through the desert to reach a handful of millet. The sight of a sparrow carcass would make my mouth water, if only I were not too dehydrated to salivate. I have not eaten a full meal since the last rain, which caused a few precious patches of field grass to sprout. Soon, there will be none of us left.
I am so very, very hungry. I grow thinner and thinner, as my body starts to digest its very self. The last thing I ate was a small lizard. This was nine days ago. I gave half of it to my only remaining brother. I did this to return a favor: Last month, he discovered a piece of tree bark and shared his bounty with me. Unfortunately, my body was so unaccustomed to food, I was soon doubled over in pain, as a flood of liquid shot from my bowels. Ever since then, my rectum has protruded from my anus. My lower intestines have begun to push their way out, as well.
They say it is almost the new year, but I do not know if I will live to see it. My stomach is swollen as if I were pregnant. I joked with my brother about this yesterday, rubbing my bloated belly and calling it "my little one." My brother did not laugh. He lowered his head and cried.
My legs are like sticks and my eyes nearly sightless. I am careful not to allow myself to daydream about the harvest feasts of my youth, for my weak heart might race and burst in my chest. Those who are still alive have taken to swallowing dirt and rocks in an attempt to stop the hunger pains. Oh, God, why are we made to suffer so?
My only distraction from the constant, gnawing hunger is the chill that runs through my bones. Even in the sweltering heat, I am cold. Perhaps I will soon die of pneumonia. This would finally quell the pangs of hunger. I long to live, but, even more, I long to die.
"Puts things so very perfectly into the real perspective, doesn't it?"
7.12.2008
7.01.2008
Orgasm Park In Korea
Orgasm Park somewhere in Korea. Here is a park devoted to monumental figurative work, of the graphic nature. Whatever on all that, I like parks, I don’t discriminate. To hell with less is more, a little extravagance every now and again is good for the soul, so Indulge.
Link
"My guess is they don't have a area for kids!"
The 10 Most Awesomely Bad Moments of the Bush Presidency
In a lot of ways, choosing the Bush administration's 10 greatest moments -- disastrous failures, all -- is about as pointless as picking out your 10 least favorite hemorrhoids: There are entirely too many of them, and taken together they all add up to a throbbing mass of pain. But unfortunately, history demands that we at least make the effort so that future generations will understand why we perform voodoo rituals cursing Bush's memory before we go to bed every night.
Narrowing down the Bush administration's various debacles to a mere 10 was no easy fete. In fact, I expect that many people will express dismay that their least favorite moment was left off the list. "How could commuting Scooter Libby's sentence not even make the top 10??!!" I can hear some of you shrieking already. Well, I'll tell you. Essentially, I tried to rate each Bush disaster by two main criteria: its body count and its damage to the country's reputation. So while Bush's awkward groping of German Chancellor Angela Merkel may be personally humiliating to everyone, it doesn't have the same heft as, say, the Iraq War.
But for those of you who insist on seeing your least favorite moment get its due, here is list of every honorable mention I could come up with: warrantless wiretapping; Valerie Plame; Scooter Libby's sentence commuted; Bush believes Rafael Palmeiro is innocent; soldiers face neglect at Walter Reed; signing statements; the Kyoto treaty ripped up; loyalty oaths; the fake turkey; a staged teleconference with troops, staged FEMA press conference, extraordinary rendition, support for junk science; endorsement of neo-creationist "intelligent design"; inaction against global warming; record oil prices; record budget deficits; record trade deficits; record number of Americans without health insurance; two recessions; no-bid contracts; bin Laden still at large; the Federal Marriage Amendment; stem cell research vetoed; waterboarding ban vetoed; "Last throes"; "Old Europe"; "It's hard work"; "Bring it on"; "Yo, Blair!"; "I'm the decider"; "I'm the commander guy"; "I'm a war president"; "This is the guy who tried to kill my dad"; "So?"; "Let the Eagle Soar"; John Bolton; Kenny Boy; Harriet Miers; John Roberts; Sam Alito; Blair talks Bush out of bombing al-Jazeera; Cheney shoots some guy in the face; the Military Commissions Act; Jose Padilla arrested and held without charge or access to counsel; endless tax cuts for the rich; let's waste a shitload of money by sending people to Mars and let's hire some Heritage Foundation staffers to rebuild Iraq.
And with that, let's go onto our 10 worst moments.
Link
6.29.2008
A Fitting, Uh, 'Honor'
It's all over the web. It's all over the news. It was reported in the New York Times and USA Today.
I just can't stop chuckling.
A grass-roots initiative in San Francisco, The Presidential Memorial Commission, has collected 8,500 signatures to get a plan on the November ballot to rename the "Oceanside Water Pollution Control Plant" the "George W. Bush Sewage Plant".
That's more than enough signatures to get the question on the ballot (7,168 are necessary) and according to some of the polls, it's likely to pass. The renaming would take effect on January 20, 2009, when the new president is sworn in.
Of course the Republicans have their panties in a twist. The White House refuses to comment on the article in the New York Times.
Link
"I can't think of a funnier way to 'honour' the president!"
The 20 Best "That Guys" of All Time
A "That Guy" is a B-list character actor who's just talented enough to secure bit parts in a handful of movies every year, but not quite good looking enough to become a brand-name star. Some specialize in playing villains and others in having freaky-enormous chest tattoos, but combined, these brave, barely handsome men have appeared in every single movie produced in the last decade.
Link
"Oh yeah, THAT guy!!"
Link
"Oh yeah, THAT guy!!"
Love in the times of massacre [pic]
A young couple seeks refuge under a bridge during the Tiananmen Square Massacre on June 5, 1989. Photographer: Liu Heung Shing
Pulitzer Prize-winning photojournalist Liu Heung Shing is releasing collection 88 rare photographs giving us a glimpse of day-to-day life in China under communism. China, Portrait of a Country, which will be released in the United States on August 1, 2008, captures the People's Republic from 1949 to 2008.
Queen owns a McDonald's
The Queen owns a drive-through McDonald's burger restaurant, the Royal accounts have revealed.
Among Her Majesty's most recent acquisitions was a retail park in Slough - which encompasses a drive-through McDonalds.
Bath Road Retail Park was purchased this month by the Crown Estate, which administers the monarch's property portfolio, for £92 million.
The site, which is visible from the Queen's State Apartments at Windsor Castle, is also home to a B&Q superstore, and branches of Comet, JJB Sports and Mothercare.
Link
"Would you like fries with that, Your Majesty?"
Australian crocs hit by cane toad 'wave of death'
Pit a cane toad against a freshwater crocodile and who wins? Although the croc eats the oversized amphibian, it seems the toad has the final laugh.
Dead freshwater crocodiles in Australia's Northern Territory were once a rare sight. But since 2005, locals have witnessed mass die-offs. Researchers now say the toxic and invasive cane toad (Bufo marinus) is to blame.
Two surveys, in 2005 and 2007, suggested that the mass croc deaths have progressively moved inland from the mouth of Victoria River, at a pace that matches that of the cane toad invasion.
Link
6.28.2008
10 Out of Place Songs That Work Really Well in Movies
Sometimes songs just seem to fit a movie. For example, it’s pretty obvious that one would use the song “Singing in the Rain” in a movie where the guy is actually singing and it’s actually raining.
However, some movies play a song and you think to yourself, “Dude, what the hell is going on here?” and you just can’t fathom why the song has been used.
However, after thinking about it you realize how disturbing, yet indescribably appropriate the use of that song was.
Here are my picks (in no particular order) for the 10 most out of place songs that work really well in movies:
Link
"Gotta agree with choice #1 - but haven't seen any of the others!"
However, some movies play a song and you think to yourself, “Dude, what the hell is going on here?” and you just can’t fathom why the song has been used.
However, after thinking about it you realize how disturbing, yet indescribably appropriate the use of that song was.
Here are my picks (in no particular order) for the 10 most out of place songs that work really well in movies:
Link
"Gotta agree with choice #1 - but haven't seen any of the others!"
Covering Canada
The best, worst and strangest foreign covers of Canadian songs
By Greig Dymond, CBC News
Every July 1, millions of Canadians mark the achievements of the Fathers of Confederation by consuming alcoholic beverages and cranking up the tunes. We can be justifiably proud, having always punched above our weight class when it comes to producing beer and singer-songwriters.
For decades, musicians around the world have reinterpreted English-Canadian pop-rock classics, and the results range from profoundly moving to extremely irritating. For your Canada Day listening pleasure, here’s a sampling of Canadian hits covered by artists from Britain, the U.S. and Australia.
Link
By Greig Dymond, CBC News
Every July 1, millions of Canadians mark the achievements of the Fathers of Confederation by consuming alcoholic beverages and cranking up the tunes. We can be justifiably proud, having always punched above our weight class when it comes to producing beer and singer-songwriters.
For decades, musicians around the world have reinterpreted English-Canadian pop-rock classics, and the results range from profoundly moving to extremely irritating. For your Canada Day listening pleasure, here’s a sampling of Canadian hits covered by artists from Britain, the U.S. and Australia.
Link
“Fun, Fun Fun”? Naw, “Guns, Guns, Guns.”
Beach Boys parody - Don Surber has re-written the Beach Boys’ Fun Fun Fun into a pro-second amendment anthem.
“Fun, Fun Fun”? Naw, “Guns, Guns, Guns.”
Brian Wilson is a genius. Which explains his craziness. He wrote what should be the national anthem (“California Girls”) and the best line in a rock era song (“I don’t know where, but she sends me there”).
So any excuse to do up a Beach Boys song is exploited.
I mean if the Beach Boys don’t mean freedom, then why the heck have convertibles and bikinis?
The video.
The parody:
Well DC got her gun
And said it would end the drive-by shootin’s
Seems it forgot all about that amendment
Like in the Constitution
But with gangbangers blasting
She’s running just as fast as she can now
But we’ve no guns guns guns
Now that DC can take them away
(Guns guns guns? None, ’cause DC took them away)
Well conserves can’t stand it
’cause it tramples on liberty now
(It tramples liberty, it tramples liberty)
It makes the Soviet Union look like it’s home of the free now
(It tramples liberty, it tramples liberty)
Those senators have bodyguards
And they avoid the streets after dark now
(It tramples liberty, it tramples liberty)
But we’ve no guns guns guns
now that DC can take them away
(Guns guns guns? None, ’cause DC took them away)
Well you knew all along
That the courts would eventually rule
(It couldn’t be fooled now it couldn’t be fooled)
And since it upheld Amendment 2
Libs are been thinking that their fun is all through now
(They shouldn’t have tried now they shouldn’t have tried)
But they can come along with me
cause we can go to the shooting range now
(You could practice now you could practice)
And we’ll have guns guns guns now that DC can’t take them away
(Guns guns guns now that DC can’t take them away)
And we’ll have guns guns guns now that DC can’t take them away
(Guns guns guns now that DC can’t take them away)
“Fun, Fun Fun”? Naw, “Guns, Guns, Guns.”
Brian Wilson is a genius. Which explains his craziness. He wrote what should be the national anthem (“California Girls”) and the best line in a rock era song (“I don’t know where, but she sends me there”).
So any excuse to do up a Beach Boys song is exploited.
I mean if the Beach Boys don’t mean freedom, then why the heck have convertibles and bikinis?
The video.
The parody:
Well DC got her gun
And said it would end the drive-by shootin’s
Seems it forgot all about that amendment
Like in the Constitution
But with gangbangers blasting
She’s running just as fast as she can now
But we’ve no guns guns guns
Now that DC can take them away
(Guns guns guns? None, ’cause DC took them away)
Well conserves can’t stand it
’cause it tramples on liberty now
(It tramples liberty, it tramples liberty)
It makes the Soviet Union look like it’s home of the free now
(It tramples liberty, it tramples liberty)
Those senators have bodyguards
And they avoid the streets after dark now
(It tramples liberty, it tramples liberty)
But we’ve no guns guns guns
now that DC can take them away
(Guns guns guns? None, ’cause DC took them away)
Well you knew all along
That the courts would eventually rule
(It couldn’t be fooled now it couldn’t be fooled)
And since it upheld Amendment 2
Libs are been thinking that their fun is all through now
(They shouldn’t have tried now they shouldn’t have tried)
But they can come along with me
cause we can go to the shooting range now
(You could practice now you could practice)
And we’ll have guns guns guns now that DC can’t take them away
(Guns guns guns now that DC can’t take them away)
And we’ll have guns guns guns now that DC can’t take them away
(Guns guns guns now that DC can’t take them away)
6.27.2008
Mercedes to Cut Petroleum Out of Lineup by 2015
In less than 7 years, Mercedes-Benz plans to ditch petroleum-powered vehicles from its lineup. Focusing on electric, fuel cell, and biofuels, the company is revving up research in alternative fuel sources and efficiency.
The German car company has a few new powertrains in the line-up that European journalists have had the opportunity to test out in their facility in Spain. One vehicle includes the F700, powered by a DiesOtto engine that combines HCCI and spark ignition to get nearly the same efficiency as diesel, but minus the expensive after-treatment systems. The engine can run on biofuels, and we may have a purchasable vehicle by 2010 – a year that seems to be popular for the debut of a lot of new alternative fuel car models, making ’08 and ’09 simply thumb-twiddling years for consumers. I don’t know, maybe car makers just like the roundness of “2010.” The company’s next big step will be to launch a Smart electric car which is fuel and emission-free.
Link
"Interesting - I'm wondering if this might be the start of the end of automotive reliance on oil, and if other automakers follow suit, what the impact will be?"
10 Best Car Chases in Movie History: Does Wanted Make the List?
Angelina Jolie and Wanted are about to hit the multiplex in top gear, with all the frenetic, adrenaline-soaked celluloid that it takes to make a gearhead action movie these days. It’s an Office Space-meets-The Matrix-slams-into-The Evil Dead tale, with nihilistic instant messaging embedded in linens. And all that breaking the laws of physics stuff aside, there’s one scene amidst the layers of blood and gibberish that could well be the first classic movie car chase of the 21st century. A Dodge Viper spinning at 75 mpg mph, Jolie clutching to it as she fires large-caliber weapons, the supercar literally driving off the side of an out-of-control bus—is this the stuff of Steve McQueen territory?
Ever since the automobile and movie businesses were born alongside each other in the 1890s, car chases have been putting the motion in motion pictures. But the last 40 years in particular—since the 1968 premiere of Bullitt, starring McQueen as a Mustang-wielding San Francisco cop—have been particularly fruitful in developing the art of on-screen motorized mayhem. Cameras have grown smaller, which means they can be mounted in places where the sense of speed is maximized. Stunt performers have grown bolder as safety advances allow them to simulate more and more dangerous antics. Physical effects have grown more sophisticated so that cars can be destroyed in ever more spectacular ways. Finally, digital imaging allows filmmakers to wipe away evidence of rigging, which has heightened the excitement even more.
Link
"For me, it's gotta be the Blues Brothers for its sheer absurdity!"
6.25.2008
What if... a nuclear bomb went off in Superman's ass?
Could the Man of Steel survive a massive internal explosion? We demand an answer!
Superman can shoot beams from his eyes, fly faster than a jet and survive point-blank gunshots to the head because our sun is a different color from his sun - fine, we'll accept that. He's essentially a solar battery, constantly absorbing energy that turns him invincible, superhumanly fast and all that other stuff that makes him one of the hardest characters to write.
But, even though his skin is impenetrable, what about his innards? Would a device, properly inserted into his mouth or say, super bottom, bypass his invulnerability and destroy him, or would he shake it off like so many shitty movies?
We must know.
Link
"I can't even come up with any comment for this one - it's a joke just in waiting!"
13 Hottest Women Wolverine Has Slept With
In the realm of comicdom, few characters are as hardcore as Wolverine. And in comic books, just as in reality, babes are attracted to hard core bad boys…As such, Wolverine has had more than his share of comic punani. Here are the top 13 of Wolverine's known superheroine conquests.
Link
"See For Yourself...no comment!"
6.24.2008
Lego Secret Vault Contains All Sets In History
I have to confess that life hasn't been very good lately. Work around the clock, not enough free time, trying to have kids and crashing badly... all while moving to a country I don't particularly like, away from my best friends and family. Maybe that's why visiting Lego's Memory Lane—the secret vault guarding almost every Lego set ever manufactured—touched me in a way I didn't expect. This wasn't amazement or simple awe. I was already astonished to no end by the tour of the Lego factory. No, this was something else, something bigger than the impressive view of the 4,720 Lego sets inside this lair. These weren't just simple boxes full of bricks. These were tickets to ride a time portal to emotions and simpler days long forgotten.
I didn't know that when I was curiously ogling the oldest sets, from the 1950s. Jette Orduna—the curator for the Idea House, Lego's history museum set in the old family house of the owner, Kjeld Kirk Kristiansen—was explaining the first Lego sets, obviously enjoying my enthusiasm.
Link
"I remember some of those from way back!"
6.21.2008
3,800-Piece Death Star Diorama Is Coolest Star Wars Lego Ever
Move over Millennium Falcon, because there's a new Best Lego Set Ever in town: the $400 Death Star. Almost 4,000 pieces of absolute nerdgasmic technological terror now available to order, showing 14 scenes that happened in the no-moon during the original trilogy. We have all the official information and three high definition photos that show every angle of this amazing set, with 21 amazing mini-figs, including Han and Luke dressed up as Lego Imperial Stormtroopers.
Link
"That's no moon, it's the Lego Death Star!"
Starship Troopers 3 Japanese Trailer
"I guess Casper Van Dien's gotta eat."
"At the same time - how on earth did they get funding after #2 ?!?!?!?!?!?!?!"
6.20.2008
6.18.2008
6.17.2008
Diamonds on Demand
Lab-grown gemstones are now practically indistinguishable from mined diamonds. Scientists and engineers see a world of possibilities; jewelers are less enthusiastic.
"This is a virtual diamond mine," says Apollo CEO Bryant Linares when I arrive at the company's secret location, where diamonds are made. "If we were in Africa, we'd have barbed wire, security guards and watch towers. We can't do that in Massachusetts." Apollo's directors worry about theft, corporate spies and their own safety. When Linares was at a diamond conference a few years ago, he says, a man he declines to describe slipped behind him as he was walking out of a hotel meeting room and said someone from a natural diamond company just might put a bullet in his head. "It was a scary moment," Linares recalls.
Link
"Diamonds are not only a girl's best friend, but everyones!"
6.16.2008
The Movie Review: 'The Happening'
The Movie Review: 'The Happening' by Christopher Orr
This film is so bad that I feel compelled to make a spoiler-laden list of its most laughably terrible parts rather than review it.
M. Night Shyamalan's latest movie, The Happening, is not merely bad. It is an astonishment, so idiotic in conception and inept in execution that, after seeing it, one almost wonders whether it was real or imagined. It's the kind of movie you want to laugh about with friends, swapping favorite moments of inanity: "Do you remember the part when Mark Wahlberg ... ?" "God, yes. And what about that scene where the wind ... ?"
The problem, of course, is that to have such a conversation, you'd normally have to see the movie, which I believe is an unreasonably high price to pay just to make fun of it. So rather than write a conventional review explaining why you should or shouldn't see The Happening (trust me, you shouldn't), I'm offering an alternative: A dozen and a half of the most mind-bendingly ridiculous elements of the film, which will enable you to marvel at its anti-genius without sacrificing (and I don't use that term lightly) 90 minutes of your life. As this is intended to be an alternative to seeing the actual film it is, of course, overflowing with spoilers.
Link
"Best movie review line EVAR : "Allow me to suggest, contrarily, that if millions of Americans were killed by some tree-originated pathogen that could be released again at any time, the immediate result would not be a renewed enthusiasm for peaceful coexistence, but rather a program of deforestation so aggressive it'd make the Brazilian lumber industry look like tree huggers."
This film is so bad that I feel compelled to make a spoiler-laden list of its most laughably terrible parts rather than review it.
M. Night Shyamalan's latest movie, The Happening, is not merely bad. It is an astonishment, so idiotic in conception and inept in execution that, after seeing it, one almost wonders whether it was real or imagined. It's the kind of movie you want to laugh about with friends, swapping favorite moments of inanity: "Do you remember the part when Mark Wahlberg ... ?" "God, yes. And what about that scene where the wind ... ?"
The problem, of course, is that to have such a conversation, you'd normally have to see the movie, which I believe is an unreasonably high price to pay just to make fun of it. So rather than write a conventional review explaining why you should or shouldn't see The Happening (trust me, you shouldn't), I'm offering an alternative: A dozen and a half of the most mind-bendingly ridiculous elements of the film, which will enable you to marvel at its anti-genius without sacrificing (and I don't use that term lightly) 90 minutes of your life. As this is intended to be an alternative to seeing the actual film it is, of course, overflowing with spoilers.
Link
"Best movie review line EVAR : "Allow me to suggest, contrarily, that if millions of Americans were killed by some tree-originated pathogen that could be released again at any time, the immediate result would not be a renewed enthusiasm for peaceful coexistence, but rather a program of deforestation so aggressive it'd make the Brazilian lumber industry look like tree huggers."
Can’t Find The G-Spot? You’re Not Alone: The Science of Sex
By: Brie Cadman
As much as I am inspired and impressed by modern medical and scientific advancements—nanotechnology, laparoscopic surgery, and genome sequencing to name a few—I’m also a bit shocked by the fact that we haven’t yet mastered some of the basics. Take human anatomy for instance. Yes, we’ve identified the twenty-six bones of the foot and the ventricles of the brain, but when it comes to deciphering the female urogenital tract, scientists are still at the drawing board. In fact, they have the same questions you might—does the G-spot exist, and if so, where the heck is it? Do women really have a prostate, and if so, can they ejaculate?
Link
The Beach Boys - U.S. Singles Collection: The Capitol Years (1962-1965) Review
Posted by Mitch Michaels on 06.16.2008
Kick-off the summer with this impressive 16-CD box set…
My Story
I fell head over heels for the Beach Boys around the time I was in 3rd grade. I can’t remember if it was before or after the “Kokomo” phenomenon, but it wasn’t a passing fad. I still consider their music some of the most vital in the American songbook today. There are quite a few Beach Boys collections out there, but recent years have brought some of the best, including the double platinum 2003 release Sounds Of The Summer and its companion release, 2007’s Warmth Of The Sun. The latest Beach Boys reissue is aimed towards collectors – a collection of CD reiussues of the band’s earliest singles. At 66 songs on 16 CDs, will this be Beach Boys overkill or the perfect beginning to an endless summer?
Their Story
The Beach Boys origins go back to Hawthorne, California, a suburb of Los Angeles on the Pacific Coast. It was there that the Wilson brothers – Carl, Brian and Dennis – were born. With a musically inclined father, the music bug soon bit the boys too (Brian hardest) and they spent a lot of time during their earliest years singing harmonies together, sometimes with cousin Mike Love. The foursome – along with high school friend Al Jardine – began to seriously think of getting a band together in the early 60’s, but, as Brian put it, they had to have an angle. Dennis was an avid surfer, so he suggested that the band could make a song about the sport, which was building in popularity at that time. And so, one fateful weekend while their parents were away, the boys bought instruments and wrote what would be their first single – “Surfin’”.
The Wilsons’ father Murray liked what he heard and began trying to help the guys get into the music business. “Surfin’” was released on Candix Records in 1961. The band had originally chosen the name “The Pendletones”, but when they received the first pressings of “Surfin’”, it was credited to “The Beach Boys”. A young promotional worker thought that the new name better reflected the band’s surfing tie-in. The Beach Boys moniker stuck and “Surfin’” became a surprising moderate hit throughout the nation. A deal with Capitol Records wasn’t far behind.
In early 1962, Al Jardine left the band to go to college and was replaced by David Marks. This line-up recorded the band’s debut album Surfin’ Safari, which was released in late 1962. The title track was the first Capitol single, and it managed to reach #14 on the Pop charts, thus truly launching the “surf rock” fad of the early 60’s. Surfin’ Safari became a Top 40 album and spawned another single, “Ten Little Indians”, which nearly reached the Top 40 as well.
Surfin’ USA appeared in 1963, The Beach Boys’ second LP. Another collection of similarly sunshine-themed songs, Surfin’ USA managed to make it all the way to #2 on the album charts, thanks to the title hit, which reached #3 in the US and became the band’s first Top 40 UK hit. Not long after this album broke, Al Jardine returned, initially replacing Brian Wilson for live shows but then taking over for David Marks. It was also at this time that Brian, already a chief songwriter in the band (along with Love and partner Gary Usher), began to take more control in the studio and attempt to move the Beach Boys past simple surfing songs.
Surfer Girl was released in late 1963, and the title track was another Top 10 hit (#7). DJs began playing the B-Side, a car tune called “Little Deuce Coupe”, and it reached #15. The band rushed out a THIRD album at the end of 1963, and Little Deuce Coupe spawned the hit single “Be True To Your School/In My Room”, which performed similarly. The A-side reached #6 and the B-side, the first real glimpse into Brian Wilson’s genius, hit #23. Little Deuce Coupe became a #4 hit – amazing considering it was released only one month after the Top 10 album Surfer Girl.
With three full albums released in 1963, the band didn’t take a moment to rest. 1964 would yield FOUR, the first of which was Shut Down, Vol. 2, an all-Beach Boys sequel of sorts to a Capitol Records hot-rod compilation that the band had appeared on earlier. That set is notable for the single “Fun, Fun, Fun”, which reached #5 on the charts. Shut Down was meant to solidify The Beach Boys as the biggest band in America. Unfortunately, America got a little more crowded in 1964 – “Beatlemania” and the British Invasion was in full effect. Thanks to this new sound and influx of talent, Shut Down was largely ignored, not even making the Top 10. A longstanding rumor is that Brian Wilson wanted to forget about Shut Down completely when he saw The Beatles perform on “The Ed Sullivan Show”. Instead, Wilson used this perceived competition to fuel his creativity.
All Summer Long was released in the summer of 1964. The album would feature a much more lush arrangement than previous Beach Boys albums. It would also feature session musicians playing instead of the band – who focused solely on vocals and harmonies. The album would mark the band’s first #1 single when “I Get Around” topped the charts. All Summer Long would become the band’s first gold album seven months after its release.
Beach Boys Concert, a live album, followed later that year and also went gold. It also became the band’s first #1 album, remaining on top of the charts for four weeks. Closing out 1964, the band put out The Beach Boys’ Christmas Album, which reached #4 on the charts and scored the #3 hit “The Man With All The Toys”.
Despite the British Invasion, the Beach Boys proved that American were still vital on their home soil as 1964 came to a close. With six Top 10 hits that year and three Top 10 albums, the Beach Boys had a strong hold on the moniker “America’s Band”. Unfortunately, there was a lot of pressure on the band to continue that success, particularly Brian Wilson. By the end of the year, Brian had stopped touring with the band to focus on studio work. He was replaced briefly by Glen Campbell, and then permanently by Bruce Johnston. The Beach Boys Today! was released in 1965, featuring the hit singles “When I Grow Up (To Be A Man)”, “Dance, Dance, Dance” and “Do You Wanna Dance?”. The album was another gold hit and reached #4 on the charts. It also featured some of Brian Wilson’s steps into experimentation, as its entire second side featured ballads all connected as one suite.
Summer Days (And Summer Nights!!) came out in the summer of 1965, led by the band’s second #1 single “Help Me, Rhonda”. After the experimentation of Today!, Brian Wilson stepped back to the formula on Summer Days, possibly because the other Beach Boys just weren’t “getting” what he was doing with the music. The album would go gold and reach #2, proving that, in 1965, audiences were hungry for Beach Boys music no matter what Brian was trying. “California Girls” was also released from this album, and it reached #3 on the charts. Beach Boys Party! arrived at the end of 1965, a covers album which featured acoustic instruments and a loose party atmosphere. “Barbara Ann”, a Regents cover, was released from this album and became a #2 hit in the US and a #3 hit in the UK.
As 1965 ended, both Surfin’ USA and Surfer Girl were certified gold. Around this time, the Beach Boys would release the non-album track “The Little Girl I Once Knew”. Though it only reached #20, it is now seen as a precursor to Brian Wilson’s legendary album, Pet Sounds.
In 2008, Capitol Records decided to reproduce the Beach Boys’ first 15 singles and compile them for a CD box set. The album features faithful reproductions of the original single artwork as well as extensive liner notes and bonus tracks with each single. The time period covered includes many of the band’s best-known singles, cutting off at the point their work became very experimental with “Pet Sounds”. You can check out a “virtual box set” version on the Beach Boys’ official site.
The Album
On June 10, 2008, Capital Records released U.S. Singles Collection – The Capitol Years (1962-1965), a 16-CD box set which compiles The Beach Boys’ first 15 singles for Capitol Records. Several bonus tracks are included, some previously unreleased.
Link
Dennis Wilson - 'Pacific Ocean Blue: Legacy Edition'
By PHIL GALLO
The first solo album from any member of the Beach Boys was "Pacific Ocean Blue" from the drummer Dennis Wilson, released in 1977. It reached No. 96 and went out of print by the time of his death in December 1983, becoming over the last decade one of those albums available only through eBay auctions. It makes its U.S. CD debut packaged with Wilson's never released "Bambu," his oft-bootlegged follow-up. Both are testimony to Wilson's compositional skills, which shine consistently, even when the patina of mid-'70s production techniques mask his artistry.
Wilson's solo deal was inked with James William Guercio, who had produced and managed Chicago, built a mammoth recording studio in the mountains of Colorado and signed the Beach Boys as clients as well. The studio, and its attendant label, were named Cairbou; Elton John named his 1974 album for the enclave. At that time, Dennis was the lone Beach Boy arguing that the band continue the development it had experienced with "20/20," "Sunflower" and "Holland"; the others opted to parlay the commercial success of "Endless Summer" into making the band tops in the oldies marketplace.
All of that history is present on "Pacific Ocean Blue" an album that has that distinct Caribou sound despite being recorded in Santa Monica, a lush and layered collection of instruments and voices, which occasionally teeter into artificiality, in addition to an element of grandeur. The grand instrumental "Common," for example, lands somewhere between "A Chorus Line" and Chicago.
Sonically, the album reveals Dennis had only tangential connections to the music of his brother Brian, although it can easily be argued that, in retrospect, "Pacific Ocean Blue" had a significant influence on Brian's solo debut recorded more than a decade later.
Dennis Wilson's music navigates variances within the realm of mid-tempo, both as a composer-performer of pop music that settles in at a meter a pinch more brisk than a ballad, and as a pianist jamming late-night on some funk or blues.
His rough and bluesy voice belies the smooth harmonies he participated in in the background during the 1960s. Wilson mostly plays keyboards and among the great musicians on the sessions were legendary Motown bassist James Jamerson, drummers Hal Blaine and Ricky Fataar and guitarist Earle Mankey, who would go on to become one of L.A. preeminent post-punk producers. Disc closes with Foo Fighters drummer Taylor Hawkins singing the words he wrote for for the Dennis Wilson-Gregg Jakobson instrumental "Holy Man."
Among the newly released material are two remarkable pieces: "I Love You" from "Bambu," a suite of themes that ventures from the bluesy to beachfront gospel to light classical piano; and "Only With You," written with Mike Love and one of three bonus tracks for the "Pacific" sessions. "I Love You," at only two minutes, feels like a half-realized sketch, one that could have been fleshed out in the spirit of the Beach Boys' ecology-minded "California Saga." "Only With You" displays greatness of the Beach Boys at their best, the fusing of the intimate and the grand, sounding like friends gathered around a piano and producing glorious music that works in the living room and the concert hall.
Link
6.15.2008
Mass Transit Effect on Pop Culture (Humour)
How high does the price of gasoline have to get before Batman resorts to the Batbus?
The influence of the car is everywhere in popular culture. But what if we had been forced to rely more on mass transit from the beginning? How might pop culture be different?
Here's some speculation.
Music
The Beach Boys would have sung I Sit Around instead of I Get Around. (I'm getting sore walking up and down the same old strip / I'll be a middle-aged guy with a titanium hip.)
Musicians have long relied on automobiles as metaphors for sex (Baby, you can drive my car). Somehow, you don't get the same level of innuendo with mass transit (Baby, you can join my car pool).
So I'm guessing that lyricists would have relied more on food to get the message across. Prince, who expressed his desires in Little Red Corvette (Baby, you're much too fast) might have tried this instead:
Little crepes suzette
Baby, you're much too hot
Raspberry vinaigrette
Your love's my food for thought
And Wilson Pickett wouldn't have sung Mustang Sally, because Ford would never have built the car.
I imagine that, in a mass-transit world, notions of vehicular sexiness would have had a more European flavor. Perhaps he would have called the song Vespa Vicky.
Television
Tony Soprano would never have lived in New Jersey.
He'd have lived in Brooklyn, and the opening montage would have shown him commuting home by subway after a hard day of whacking rivals.
Likewise, Fred Flintstone and his blue-collar buddies in Bedrock would have foot-powered a bus home.
Instead of driving the fuel-guzzling Gen. Lee (a Dodge Charger), Bo and Luke from The Dukes of Hazzard would have at least downsized to the Cpl. Cooper (a Dodge Dart).
A host of other car-oriented TV shows would have had different titles: My Mother the Streetcar, Knight Walker, Huckleberry (Grey)Hound and Pimp My Hydrogen Fuel Cell.
Movies
In a mass-transit world, Peter Fonda and Dennis Hopper could still have portrayed counterculture heroes, but the movie would have been called Easy Bus Rider.
Hapless Clark Griswold could have gotten into just as much trouble if the movie had been called National Lampoon's Stay-at-Home Vacation. And, instead of going to White Castle, Harold and Kumar might have had a pizza delivered.
I can also envision a movie in which Michael J. Fox and Christopher Lloyd employ a vehicle to transport themselves in time. But in a world less in love with cars, it might have been Amtrak to the Future.
Miscellaneous
Instead of racing 500 miles to nowhere, Dale Earnhardt Jr., Tony Stewart and company would compete to see who could hail a taxi, stuff it with five or six passengers and get to the Daytona airport first. The sport would be called NASCAB.
Come to think of it, the price of getting to the racetrack might soon exceed the cost of getting in.
In that case, we'll all stay home and play a hot new video game: Grand Theft Gasoline.
Joe Blundo is a Dispatch columnist.
jblundo@dispatch.com
The influence of the car is everywhere in popular culture. But what if we had been forced to rely more on mass transit from the beginning? How might pop culture be different?
Here's some speculation.
Music
The Beach Boys would have sung I Sit Around instead of I Get Around. (I'm getting sore walking up and down the same old strip / I'll be a middle-aged guy with a titanium hip.)
Musicians have long relied on automobiles as metaphors for sex (Baby, you can drive my car). Somehow, you don't get the same level of innuendo with mass transit (Baby, you can join my car pool).
So I'm guessing that lyricists would have relied more on food to get the message across. Prince, who expressed his desires in Little Red Corvette (Baby, you're much too fast) might have tried this instead:
Little crepes suzette
Baby, you're much too hot
Raspberry vinaigrette
Your love's my food for thought
And Wilson Pickett wouldn't have sung Mustang Sally, because Ford would never have built the car.
I imagine that, in a mass-transit world, notions of vehicular sexiness would have had a more European flavor. Perhaps he would have called the song Vespa Vicky.
Television
Tony Soprano would never have lived in New Jersey.
He'd have lived in Brooklyn, and the opening montage would have shown him commuting home by subway after a hard day of whacking rivals.
Likewise, Fred Flintstone and his blue-collar buddies in Bedrock would have foot-powered a bus home.
Instead of driving the fuel-guzzling Gen. Lee (a Dodge Charger), Bo and Luke from The Dukes of Hazzard would have at least downsized to the Cpl. Cooper (a Dodge Dart).
A host of other car-oriented TV shows would have had different titles: My Mother the Streetcar, Knight Walker, Huckleberry (Grey)Hound and Pimp My Hydrogen Fuel Cell.
Movies
In a mass-transit world, Peter Fonda and Dennis Hopper could still have portrayed counterculture heroes, but the movie would have been called Easy Bus Rider.
Hapless Clark Griswold could have gotten into just as much trouble if the movie had been called National Lampoon's Stay-at-Home Vacation. And, instead of going to White Castle, Harold and Kumar might have had a pizza delivered.
I can also envision a movie in which Michael J. Fox and Christopher Lloyd employ a vehicle to transport themselves in time. But in a world less in love with cars, it might have been Amtrak to the Future.
Miscellaneous
Instead of racing 500 miles to nowhere, Dale Earnhardt Jr., Tony Stewart and company would compete to see who could hail a taxi, stuff it with five or six passengers and get to the Daytona airport first. The sport would be called NASCAB.
Come to think of it, the price of getting to the racetrack might soon exceed the cost of getting in.
In that case, we'll all stay home and play a hot new video game: Grand Theft Gasoline.
Joe Blundo is a Dispatch columnist.
jblundo@dispatch.com
6.14.2008
Some retailers give vinyl records a spin
It was a fortuitous typo for the Fred Meyer retail chain.
This spring, an employee intending to order a special CD-DVD edition of R.E.M.'s latest release "Accelerate" inadvertently entered the "LP" code instead. Soon boxes of vinyl discs showed up at several stores.
Some sent them back. But a handful put them on the shelves, and 20 LPs sold the first day.
The Portland-based company, owned by the Kroger Co., realized the error might not be so bad after all. Fred Meyer is now testing vinyl sales at 60 of its stores in Oregon, Washington and Alaska. The company says it plans to roll out vinyl in July in all its stores that sell music.
Link
"Who'd have thunk that vinyl is actually making a small comeback?!?"
6.13.2008
World Religion Map
(Click for larger)
"It's amazing how they all get along, right? (note heavy sarcasm) "
5 Marvel Super Hero Movies We Want to See (and 5 We Don't)
Must be a nice time to work at Marvel Studios, wouldn't you say, True Believers? I mean, sure, you might have to occasionally talk your boss out of doing something stupid like not bringing Jon Favreau back for Iron Man 2 or keeping Edward Norton from Hulking out in the lobby after he realizes that you cut out the "Bruce Banner sings karaoke with his rabbi best friend" scene in The Incredible Hulk - someone has to give the Marvel boy some perspective. But, all in all, Marvel has had a nice recent lucky streak when it comes to turning their roster of super heroes into summer-movie tentpoles. Forgetting Iron Man and the Hulk (a certified hit and a new release with halfway decent tracking numbers), Marvel's made a mint off of the Spider-Man and X-Men franchises, and they've more than broken even with some of their lesser releases (Ghost Rider, the Fantastic Four movies, Blade, etc). In other words, unless the Hulk tanks hardcore and the cast of the Avengers is arrested for treason, expect lots and lots of Marvel super hero-based films to hit your local movie theatre in the very near future.
Link
"Ye gods, excelsior indeed!"
6.10.2008
The 10 Most Terrifying Guides to Sex
We're not saying sex is something to be ashamed of, and far be it from us to declare any activity between consenting adults to be unnatural or immoral. It's just that some types of sex are weird and yes, even terrifying to us.
But, if you're going to do something that would make a dominatrix flinch, you might as well do it right.Link
"So, whips and chains are passe now, eh?"
6.08.2008
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